22 Of The Funniest Posts About Married Life (Feb. 25-March 3)

I like to ask my husband to open jars for me that I can actually open myself, so he underestimates just how strong and powerful I really am.

— Hollie Harris (@allholls) February 28, 2025

I don’t mean to brag but I sneeze louder than my husband does.

— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) February 25, 2025

I honestly didn’t even know there was a wrong way to fill the grocery cart until I met my husband.

— your other mom (@difficultpatty) March 2, 2025

My wife is driving and just mom-armed me in case you were wondering how small I am.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 1, 2025

Love it when my husband says those 3 little words: let’s order pizza

— meghan (@deloisivete) March 1, 2025

Stages of marriage:

1. I’m going to be such a good wife

2. Oh no

— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) February 28, 2025

My husband shuts his eyes when I’m saying something that he doesn’t want to hear.

— Late to the party Laura (@ericamorecambe) February 26, 2025

Assignment: write a 500-word essay about true love.

Me: I memorized my wife’s favorite Starbucks order here it is

— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) March 3, 2025

My wife accidentally farted in front of a group of 10yo boys, but I said it was me. I think I finally found my purpose as a parent.

— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) February 25, 2025

With a wife and two daughters my house basically looks like a shoe store in the middle of a going out of business sale.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 23, 2025

If a husband says something in a forest and nobody hears, is he still wrong?

— Jew in a Canoe ✡️🎗️🇺🇦 memoir now available! (@WillieHandler) March 2, 2025