I stayed in Sandals resort with 12 restaurants and a bed the size of Wales

My previous sailing lesson 20 years ago was not entirely successful. I was a nautical numpty.

“Turn around to the left,” said the sailing instructor. “OK, sure,” I replied.

“Not you! The boat!”

“Oh, right.”

“No, left!”

So, this time, on the north coast of Jamaica, I am in the hands of genial instructor Carlsen.

And within minutes of launching the Hobie Cat into the Caribbean, and with favourable winds, I am doing the basics of The Steering Thing and generally pointing the boat in the direction Carlsen wishes us to go.

I have not hit any other Hobies, kayakers, the coral reef or indeed neighbouring Cuba to the north, so time to quit while ahead and resume the next day.

Unfortunately, the next day’s lesson at the luxurious Sandals Dunn’s River resort, near Ocho Rios, is not blessed with favourable winds and, besides The Steering Thing, it now involves The Turning Thing.

With instructor Tavoi’s patient guidance I attempted a jibe turn (easier, as you are turning with the wind) and got it vaguely right, or was it left?

Sailing lesson number three the next day was a triumph! Well, with kinder winds back, I decided I’d got a dose of the sailing bug.

Even better, sailing tuition is included in the price of a Sandals holiday, along with other watersports such as ­kayaking, paddle boarding, the ­hilariously bouncy high-speed Big Mable inflatable ride, snorkelling and, jewel in the crown, PADI scuba diving.

Keeping things afloat, I signed up for an included glass-bottomed boat trip where Captain Jack Sparrow (not convinced he was giving us guests his real name) sailed from the resort jetty past the Laughing Waters beach and waterfall – the filming location for the first Bond movie Dr No and where bikini-clad Ursula Andress stepped out of the sea and into cinematic legend.

Ironically, the only marine life I spotted was not underwater via the glass bottom but flying fish skimming above the surface.

Landlubbers are equally at home at Dunn’s River (as in the well-climbed nearby waterfalls), with activities such as golf, beach volleyball, reggae dance classes, trivia quizzes, aerobics and pool table plus a good gym.

And of course you are at a luxury Caribbean resort with a superb beach, five pools, one with a swim-up bar, and if all you want to do is lie on a lounger, top up your tan, read a book and enjoy a cocktail or two – help yourself.

But you can’t keep a keen newbie sailor away from the water, so I joined an Island Routes half-day excursion to the Martha Brae river for a bamboo raft ride. The rafting centre is near Falmouth, an hour or so by bus, and there’s fruit punch as you wait your turn for the three-mile journey (your bus will be waiting at the end).

Life in Jamaica’s slow lane is delightful as Raft Captain Peter got me on board the punt-style craft before casting off into the gently-flowing green waters.

Peter, who made this raft, was a non-stop barrage of Martha Brae knowledge. No surprise as he’s been doing this since 1983.

Sights include impressive trees, a slavery memorial and an old sugar mill with its clapped out charcoal powered steamroller. Peter’s new raft is lighter than many of the other waterlogged older ones, so there is some overtaking as he’s keen to get back to base for a second trip in the afternoon. Hence why his river nickname is Hot Rod.

Still, it’s a thoroughly enjoyable slow speed 50 minutes amid the dappled shade of the trees. The raft captains carve decorations on dried calabash pods (a form of dried gourd) for souvenir beakers and will of course try to sell you one – $20 well spent as a tip and a memento.

The Resort

There has been a hotel on this site since the late 1950s, and this is the ­exceptional Sandals 2.0 incarnation after a multimillion dollar reimagining and expansion, which debuted with 260 rooms in 2023. It was at 90% occupancy during my stay, though it never felt crowded.

By Sandals’ standards it’s a compact site at 25 acres and landscaping is an important aspect – with a team of 29 gardeners keeping the lush grounds in pristine order. Herbs are grown around the gardens for the kitchens.

Also in those grounds is Sandals’ signature Red Lane spa for indulgent pampering and Caribbean-inspired treatments using natural local products, plus the use of a steam room and hot and cold plunge pools.

Jamaica is of course blessed with abundant forests and I really liked the way wood is attractively used around the resort for decor and furniture.

The food

With 12 restaurants and nine bars to choose from, you’ll not starve or suffer from dehydration. I made a heroic effort to get round all the dining venues but it was a deliciously flavoured failure.

Standouts for me were the Hamani sushi venue for a dazzling array of fish and vegetable choices (so good I went back on the last night), the South/Latin American-themed Zuka where a take on surf and turf wowed, then the Asian fusion Banyu with a Pad Thai fit for the gods.

The beachfront Jerk Shack served up a surprise: a local dish of stewed pig’s tail, which tasted much better than my preconceptions envisaged.

For a cocktail, it’s oh-so tempting to drift by the swim-up bar by day and in the evening head to the wood-rich Dunn’s Rum Club, where mixologists create marvels with rum and more.

Next to the rum bar is a real gem, the Blum cafe, which specialises in Jamaican Blue Mountain coffees made from beans exclusively grown and roasted for the resort and delivered daily. The shady garden here is a nice spot for a morning latte or nitro cold brew.

I headed out of the resort one evening to Miss T’s Kitchen in downtown Ocho Rios to experience rustic Jamaican cuisine. A cod starter segued pleasantly into chicken curry with rice and beans (why do they moan on about rice and beans? It’s delicious!) accompanied, inevitably, with a Red Stripe.

The room

Oh my, I am in a butler-level suite and it is very special with a bed the size of Wales (slight exaggeration), TV the size of my local cinema (ditto) and a plunge pool on the balcony.

Super-helpful and friendly butlers Akeem and Fernando are just a (supplied) phone call/text away for anything from reserving a sunlounger in a prime spot and lining up a restaurant table to snacks in the room and magically arriving with a cocktail just as the thought occurs ‘it’s five o-clock somewhere’.

The entertainment

Most evening events are in the main plaza and there’s plenty of variety and quality. My week had displays from local acrobats, dancers and trapeze artists but the standouts were an eye-popping fire juggling show and a superb illusionist.

And what a delight to have a breakfast-time violinist on the bridge over the main pool, serenading us guests with gentle classical tunes as we foraged at the buffet for granola, melon slices and pineapple juice.

Book the holiday

Sandals offers a seven-night all-inclusive stay in a Travertine Luxury Room at Sandals Dunn’s River resort near Ocho Rios, Jamaica, from £2,625pp. Depart from Heathrow on September 30 with Virgin Atlantic, 23kg baggage and transfers. Tufa Terrace One Bedroom Skypool Butler Suite with Balcony Tranquillity Soaking Tub from £4,565pp.

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