Dunkin’ brought back Ben Affleck, the one true DunKing; Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal reunited to persuade fans to buy Hellmann’s mayonnaise
Reviews and recommendations are unbiased and products are independently selected. Postmedia may earn an affiliate commission from purchases made through links on this page.
The Super Bowl kicked off Sunday with a taped video of Tom Cruise introducing the Kansas City Chiefs and Philadelphia Eagles as if they were about to fight to the death. “The mission is clear: Win here and be remembered forever,” Cruise said, using the dramatic spy voice he employs in the “Mission: Impossible” franchise.
Cruise’s appearance – along with those of Missouri native Jon Hamm, who announced the arrival of the Chiefs, and Bradley Cooper, who welcomed his hometown Eagles – set the stage for the wacky star-studded commercials to come. Dunkin’ brought back Ben Affleck, the one true DunKing; Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal reunited to persuade “When Harry Met Sally” fans to buy Hellmann’s mayonnaise; and Mountain Dew scarred everyone by putting the singer Seal’s face on a literal seal. No, thank you!
Here are the best, worst and weirdest commercials from Super Bowl LIX.
– – –
Most disturbing visual: Mountain Dew
It’s a wonder we haven’t seen this low-hanging bit of visual wordplay before, and I’m frankly not sure how to feel about seeing it now. The little hands, the horrible whiskers? Unsettling. But this whole endeavor is redeemed by a banger adaptation of Seal’s classic “Kiss From a Rose” centered around Mountain Dew’s “Baja Blast” flavor. Next year, we welcome more re-imaginings of ’90s soul hits. -Ashley Fetters Malloy
– – –
Best play on words: Ritz
Aubrey Plaza and Michael Shannon are not the most obvious pairing, until you realize they’re both known for playing grumps on screen. In a commercial for Ritz crackers, they walk toward a snack table at the Salty Club, a lounge for bitter people. “When I smile, people assume it’s a glitch,” Shannon says. Plaza retorts: “Please, I’m the human version of Monday.” They grumble back and forth until their mouths are too stuffed with Ritz crackers to say any more. “Why is Ritz so good? It’s so annoying,” Plaza complains in her trademark deadpan. After a brief appearance by Bad Bunny, who gets in trouble for smiling, the narrator steps in: “Ritz. Loved by everyone, even the saltiest.” The ad is simple and clever, a combination as delectable as the buttery crackers. -Sonia Rao
– – –
Best self-aware cameo: Jeremy Strong for Dunkin’
This is a perennially crowded field, because self-aware cameos have long been a big genre of Super Bowl ad. (See: Victoria Beckham forgetting the name of her former girl group in an ad for Uber Eats last year, or Michael Jordan and Larry Bird acknowledging their on-court beef by playing H-O-R-S-E for a Big Mac in 1993.)
Jeremy Strong, whose extreme methods for getting into character on “Succession” were the subject of a controversial New Yorker profile in 2021, added a strong entry into the canon with this Dunkin’ ad, which finds him emerging from a vat of coffee bean slime. “We’re doing a Dunkin’ Donuts commercial, right?” he asks, lips slick with black sludge. “I’m just trying to find the character. I think I found a way in.” (A.F.M.)
– – –
Best use of Tom Brady: Duracell
Tom Brady provided official commentary and appeared in two commercials: a bizarre anti-hate ad opposite Snoop Dogg, and another for Duracell batteries. The latter was a more successful effort, poking fun at the former NFL quarterback’s robotic finesse by turning him into an actual android. When Robot Brady runs out of batteries, Duracell gives him a boost – maybe enough for him to come out of retirement and go for an eighth Super Bowl ring? His fans can dream. (S.R.)
– – –
Biggest payoff: Nike
Nike’s ad was ambitious (and expensive) in its casting, but straightforward in concept. A who’s who of female athletes – including Sha’Carri Richardson, Caitlin Clark, A’ja Wilson, Sabrina Ionescu, Jordan Chiles and Aryna Sabalenka – mug at the camera in while Doechii, in a voice-over, beckons women to defy expectations. Goose bumps! (A.F.M.)
– – –
Most productive use of time: Angel Soft
The Super Bowl is a grueling test of bladder control for those who enjoy football and funny commercials. But this year, Angel Soft decided to extend some kindness to that crowd by suggesting they use the toilet paper brand’s 30-second spot as a bathroom break. Finally, an opportunity to go. Or should we say, a “potty-tunity?” Sorry, it’s their word, not ours. (S.R.)
– – –
Weirdest disembodied facial hair: Little Caesars and Pringles
Eugene Levy is so stunned by the cheesy flavor of Little Caesars’ Crazy Puffs that his raised eyebrows fly off his face. They flutter all the way to his daughter, who spots her father’s disembodied eyebrows while at brunch with a friend and explains, “My dad’s eating Crazy Puffs again. Don’t ask.” The silly little spot works by playing off one of Levy’s most distinguishable features. But wait, did that Pringles commercial just do … the same thing? With Nick Offerman’s mustache instead? We’re not so sure why a good snack would make your facial hair fly off, but that isn’t the sort of question you ask on Super Bowl Sunday. Or ever, really. (S.R.)
– – –
Cuddliest combo: On
Few celebrities inspire more universal goodwill than Swiss tennis legend and unassailable sweetie Roger Federer. Among those few is Elmo, who joins Federer for this spot for On running gear, and the cuteness is nearly unbearable. Elmo asks Federer why his sneakers say “Q.C.,” a winking reference to On’s logo, which features an O that for some reason has a tail.
Federer tries to set him straight, but you know what? Elmo’s right. That logo is confusing. (A.F.M.)
– – –
Most befuddling advertising strategy: Hellmann’s
Look, I love seeing Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal reunited, especially when there’s a “When Harry Met Sally”-caliber sweater involved. We all do. What troubles me about this spot, though, is that it makes the punch line of the original scene the premise of this new one, leaving Meg Ryan in the awkward position of acting an actual sandwich-activated orgasm. Or mayonnaise-activated, more specifically.
As a consumer, I have to say: Not really what I’m looking for from mayonnaise. (A.F.M.)
– – –
Best bad idea: Bud Light
Shane Gillis’s giant cooler-mobile simply looks so fun. The question isn’t whether someone will make one of these in real life, or even how soon; it’s whether this contraption (not to mention the leaf-blower beer guns) will materialize first in a frat quad, a tailgate, a backcountry hunting lodge or the dads’ section of a suburban block party. Wherever it is, I hope I’m invited. (A.F.M.)