The thought of attending a concert alone may seem strange or even anxiety-inducing. Isn’t it awkward to stand there without a buddy to talk to? Won’t people gawk at you for being such a loner? Won’t be it boring if you don’t have a loved one to share the experience with?
According to evangelists of the solo concert lifestyle, no — and you might be surprised just how fun and fulfilling the experience can be.
Natalia K., who lives in Lublin, Poland, attended her first concert by herself at age 18 when she went to see Florence and the Machine at Orange Warsaw Festival. She told HuffPost she went into the experience “incredibly anxious,” as it was also her first time traveling to another city without parents or other adults accompanying her.
“I was also slightly socially anxious at that point in life, hated meeting new people,” she told HuffPost. “But I wanted to see Florence and the Machine so badly I was willing to push myself out of my comfort zone, and it was so worth it.”
Natalia says she considers the experience a turning point in her life because it pushed her to “confront all [her] insecurities.” She discovered she enjoyed exploring new places and meeting new people along the way.
“I had to wait for hours for the main event, running from gate to gate to get the best possible spot, closest to the band,” Natalia said. “I met so many people, exchanged water and snacks and stories while we waited. When someone would need to take a bathroom break, we would hold their place so they could return to the same spot.”
Because she wasn’t surrounded by people she knew, she was able to be “completely care-free” and had a blast, she said.
![Those who enjoy going to shows alone have a lot to say about the benefits of flying solo — and their experiences may even persuade you to give it a try yourself.](https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/67a3f8aa1600002600aff07a.jpeg?cache=MTdVIfEDof&ops=scalefit_720_noupscale)
Leisa Canter, who lives in Los Angeles, first started going to concerts by herself when her kids were young. She found it was easier this way — she didn’t need to find a babysitter because her husband could stay home with the kids (he didn’t really want to go anyway, she said). Plus, Canter discovered you can generally score a better seat if you’re only buying one ticket.
Now she much prefers going to concerts by herself, she said. And even though Canter is often flying solo at shows these days, she never feels lonely.
“I feel like I’m never alone at a concert,” she told HuffPost. “People are like, ‘Oh, but you went alone?’ I go, ‘No, there were like 7,500 people there.’ I embrace community.”
Below, Natalia and Canter share some of the overlooked benefits of the solo concert experience.
You don’t have to plan around anyone else.
If you’re going to a show by yourself, you can buy a ticket on a whim without waiting to hear back from friends about who is interested and available.
“If I suddenly find that the band I like is visiting the other side of the country next weekend, I can just buy tickets without considering friends’ schedules and plans,” Natalia said. “Anyone who [has] ever organized travel with groups knows that the planning phase can take weeks. So going alone makes that problem go away.”
And once you’re there, you get to call the shots without having to take anyone else’s preferences into account or worry that you’re inconveniencing them.
“Do I want to eat dinner before the concert, but potentially lose a good place at the stadium? Or maybe I care so much about this specific gig, that I’m willing to stand for hours in the queue?” Natalia said.
“Do I want to be close to the band, but would have to stand the whole event, or do I take a ticket with a seat? What if one of your friends is really short? Or if your friend wants to take their kid? Suddenly fighting for the first row where you can jump around is not an option,” she added. “If I’m alone, it’s just up to me to decide.”
Canter also appreciates the freedom of not being beholden to anyone else’s schedule. She Googles the setlist before the show and heads toward the exit when the last song starts to avoid the post-concert mayhem.
“And I don’t want to have to explain that to anybody,” she said. “I just like to leave when I want. I like to come when I want. It’s kind of like an oasis for me. It’s my time, it’s my solo adventure.”
You don’t have to worry if your concert buddy is having a good time.
Have you ever dragged a friend out to see a band you love, but they’re not necessarily a big fan? Maybe they politely bob their head to the music, but their lack of enthusiasm can be a bit of a bummer. When you go by yourself, you can really be in the moment without feeling responsible for someone else’s enjoyment.
“I’ve noticed that if I’m with someone else, I’m repeatedly checking if they also have fun, looking for any signs of their boredom,” Natalia said. “So I’m constantly being brought back to the ‘reality.’ But when I’m alone? I’m completely in the zone, I can just immerse myself completely in the experience.”
Canter really enjoys moving around the venue throughout the show — something she says she probably wouldn’t do if she was there with a friend.
“If I was with somebody, we’re gonna sit in our seats,” she said. “I love roaming. I love going, ‘Now I want to see the concert from this vantage point as it was intended as a production.’ Or ‘I want to be as close to Adele as I can.’”
You’re more likely to meet new people.
When you go to a concert with friends, you’re probably going to chat amongst yourselves while waiting for the band to come on. But when you’re going by yourself, you’re “all the more observant of your surroundings,” Natalia said.
“Other ‘alone’ people will probably notice you, and make their way to you to introduce themselves,” she said. “So you’re more likely to make new acquaintances this way because you’re more approachable.”
Natalia recalled a moment at a Courtney Barnett show when a fellow concertgoer spotted her in the front row.
“A complete stranger squeezed herself through the crowd to join me, and we jumped together for the rest of the gig,” she said. “I have no idea what her name even was, but I’ll cherish that memory forever.”
Take some basic safety measures, especially when you’re alone.
If you’re driving to the show yourself, be sure to park in a populated, well-lit area near the venue so you don’t have to walk too far to your car. Same goes for public transportation — make sure there’s a stop close by and you know how to get there. Or you can always take an Uber or get a ride from a friend.
“Drop a pin or send your address to a friend or family member, or multiple, so they know where you are,” writer Gabriela Herstik previously wrote for Nylon. “Let them know around what time you expect to leave the show. Text them updates about when you’re leaving.”
Having a drink is fine (as long as you’re keeping a watchful eye on it) but don’t overdo it on the alcohol — or any other substance that could impair your judgment. You want to make sure you’re staying aware of your surroundings.
It’s also a good idea to make sure your phone is fully charged before you head out. Consider bringing a portable charger in case you need some extra juice while you’re there, Herstik advised.
“It’s kind of like an oasis for me. It’s my time, it’s my solo adventure.”
– Leisa Canter
Natalia said she likes to keep her wallet and phone in a neck wallet to ensure she doesn’t lose it while dancing and moving through crowds.
Canter’s advice: Don’t be the last one out of the venue.
“I’m always out in time, so there’s always people around. I’m not the last one to leave. I don’t dilly-dally,” she said. “I want to be the first Uber out.”
Maybe after reading this, you’re toying with the idea of going to a concert alone but you’re still hung up on what other people might think. You assume you’ll be judged for showing up solo. But you might find people actually admire you for it.
Go Ad-Free — And Protect The Free Press
Already contributed? Log in to hide these messages.
“I remember being at an xx concert, and this super young girl goes, ‘Are you here by yourself?’” Canter said. “I go, ‘I am.’ And she goes, ‘Oh, my God, that’s so cool. I’m gonna do that when I grow up.’ And it wasn’t insulting or weird. She was just like, ‘Wow, that’s amazing.’”