Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
My 4yo is in a know-it-all phase where every time he asks a question he prefaces by saying “I already know this but can you remind me…” I told him there was a guy named Plato who said we’re born knowing everything and merely rediscover things, and he said “yeah I knew that”
— William Gerrard (@Bill_Gerrard) January 19, 2025
Watching ‘Selma’ and my 9yo ask if we can make popcorn.
His twin gone say “this ain’t a popcorn type of movie my man”.
I’m sorry but 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣
— Princess | Mindfulness | Conscious Parenting (@themultiplemom) January 20, 2025
My daughter when she manages to get her hands on some juice that hasn’t been diluted by her mean mother or some celeb-fronted organics brand: https://t.co/Cx2luVlygx
— am rod (@arod_twit) January 21, 2025
There’s a book about Halloween pumpkins that without fail cheers up our baby no matter what mood he’s in and I don’t have the heart to tell him that the story is full of plot holes and lazy exposition and also it’s not even in season.
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) January 23, 2025
We’ve been watching M*A*S*H with my 9-year-old. He was talking about a previous episode and kept mentioning “the hot guy” and I was like “the HOT GUY???” and that’s when I realized that this whole time he thought everyone was calling Hawkeye “Hot Guy.”
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) January 18, 2025
Daughter, who just learned the alternate meaning of the word *ho*: WHAT HAS SANTA BEEN TRYING TO SAY
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 22, 2025
There’s no force stronger than the mom who wants her daughter to be first in Girl Scout cookie sales.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) January 23, 2025
My kid said scales measure how fast we are. So anyway, I stepped on our scale and I’m a lot faster than I thought I was.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) January 20, 2025
7 broken ribs, lacerated lung, fibula & tibia reduced to a fine powder, one of them came out the side of my leg. But if you could have seen the look on my daughter’s face when I blew by her after giving her a 15 second head start at the top of the mountain, man, it was worth it.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) January 23, 2025
It was 15° this morning so I turned the heat up 1 degree for an hour as a little treat for the family.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 20, 2025
Making chilli and the toddler said no beans in it but bacon instead… about to listen to her bc I believe in uplifting the future
— Trey (@treydayway) January 21, 2025
My son can configure this whole elaborate video gaming set up in his room but needs help to make toast.
Seems legit.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 19, 2025
Kids today are like “Wanna play after school? Great! Login to Roblox at 4!”
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 18, 2025
My 7yo forgot the word for intestines and called them “meat lines in the stomach that are taller than you” so we are not putting him in charge of naming things
— meghan (@deloisivete) January 22, 2025
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a fun parenting reality is that my 3yo who fell asleep on the floor at 6 pm just came wandering into my room at midnight very confused and wanting breakfast.
— emily may (@emilykmay) January 21, 2025
My kid was today years old when he found out that soap also comes in solid bar form
— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) January 18, 2025
When my 2 year old throws a tantrum my husband and I now narrate her actions in Werner Herzog voices & it’s kind of hilarious.
— Ashley Winter MD || Urologist (@AshleyGWinter) January 18, 2025