The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded as X, their humor lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
all i do is buy yogurt. i’m eating yogurt and updating my to do list with “buy yogurt.” sorry i can’t hang out this weekend i have to buy yogurt
— bald ann dowd (@ali_sivi) January 21, 2025
crazy that my body cant tell the difference between answering a text and being chased in the woods
— kenzi (@kenzianidiot) January 22, 2025
Found this in my purse. Never bought one. I’ve already reached the age where they start spawning. pic.twitter.com/7Zh7cIKz7l
— redux (@lycragun) January 20, 2025
tiktok ban shaping up to be incredible publicity stunt for tiktok and trump. i tried similar tactic on my 3rd graders when i was a substitute teacher. “the principal’s thinking of canceling recess, i’ll see what i can do” type of beat
— maggie (@olmsdead) January 19, 2025
NYT recipes: Lemony garlicky miso gochujang brown butter gnocchi
— shreya (@shreyabasu003) January 20, 2025
Being super smug about the TikTok ban not affecting me because I waste 8 hours on my phone in other superior ways
— madimoiselle ♡ (@drivingmemadi) January 19, 2025
just got the call. fired. I was the DEI coordinator at Area 51. my job was to trans the aliens and then inject them with fentanyl. they all died but that’s not important.
— unregistered hyperkate 2 (@kathrwn) January 22, 2025
My bf keeps muttering to himself “we had to get through Hoover to get to FDR” like it’s a prayer
— Simone (@girlpowertbh) January 22, 2025
Low key loving this influencer not knowing how to spell “voila” pic.twitter.com/iJTGyl9IO7
— Amani (@Aurorraz_) January 22, 2025
hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems like bro you’re supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line
— aimey (@aimymerry) January 21, 2025
My favorite productivity hack is working at a library with no laptop charger and using the battery life as time pressure I call it the poor man’s pomodoro
— Sherry (@SchrodingrsBrat) January 20, 2025
eggs are about to get even more eggspensive, eggspert says https://t.co/GWQbfjpPBe
— me again (@quinncoherent) January 20, 2025
press tours are getting funnier by the day https://t.co/IYLNaSKxU9pic.twitter.com/52NhCfwM6H
— daniela molloy (@diandrasdiandra) January 22, 2025
With dentists it’s always “ how many times per week are you flossing” & never “are you loved by your community?” or “are you seeking expressive integrity in your work?” “Are you challenging form while taking it seriously?” Etc. And by the way, I’m flossing a totally fine amount
— danielle (@_danielle_carr) January 23, 2025
The ban we’d all prefer. pic.twitter.com/iuyQahmNCZ
— Crisis of Conscience (@crisisofconsc) January 19, 2025
two dudes at this philly bar said Jalen Hurts isn’t that hot and i have never seen a room of women whip their heads around so fast
— Frances Patano (@FrancesPatano) January 19, 2025
This is how kids in the Midwest look when they’re out trick or treating https://t.co/Y9Ms4VIe5X
— 𝐽𝐸𝑁 𝑀𝐴𝐶𝐾 🧀 (@BigMack_4) January 20, 2025
TikTok being banned for 12 hours kind of reminds me of when you’d “run away” as a kid and pack a suitcase and like sit on the curb for 2 hours and then go home
— trash jones (@jzux) January 20, 2025
it’s giving ukrainian flight attendant for gulf state airline. https://t.co/VPn7NGu9aI
— Rachel (@tolstoybb) January 20, 2025
i wanted to study psychology but i have more potential as a patient tbh
— : (@yaidawn) January 20, 2025
I’ve never owned a kitten before this one and I always kind of assumed that baby animals were born with implicit understandings of things like Hot and What Water Is but he’s really proving me wrong at every turn
— maddie, hot dog enthusiast (@damnitmadeline) January 20, 2025
When you see your parents in the audience during the 3rd grade choir holiday concert: pic.twitter.com/qqmhMyJXce
— Coach Meg 🥎 (@MegaQuack24) January 20, 2025
You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?
— Kristen (@Kica333) January 18, 2025
my mum sent me this picture of her smoking a cig in a lavender field and i’m losing it. she’s like 🚬😎 pic.twitter.com/1Cn2kDMIRw
— Roxy (@RoxyTall) January 21, 2025
introducing my bf to reality tv and discovering he’s a natural born viewer. he’s here saying shit like “that outfit is vile”
— alexa (@mariokartdwi) January 18, 2025
a woman in the museum took one look at this and went “now how did he get himself into that situation” pic.twitter.com/x8WSvqCVba
— sophia (@pastoralcomical) January 21, 2025
i can’t fucking take this shit anymore i’m enrolling in adult tap classes
— gal kilmer (@beepupkin) January 19, 2025
Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait
— Cooper Lawrence (@CooperLawrence) January 23, 2025
Thiss https://t.co/TuHXSl4JtIpic.twitter.com/7SZQHFw533
— Jenni (@hashjenni) January 20, 2025
sometimes i look up words to make sure im using it right before i send my text message 😂😂😂😂😂
— MK (@adoreanise) January 21, 2025
Friend: ugh algorithms are the worst, don’t you hate how it’s all news and politics and sadness on your feed all the time?
Me, who only sees baby animals and dessert recipes: yeah totally, so awful
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 19, 2025
what’s wrong babe? you’ve barely touched your bookmarks of healthy recipes
— erica (@ericanextdooor) January 22, 2025
Check my period tracker https://t.co/cbsu9uO5GW
— 𝐦💋 (@honeysouledsis) January 21, 2025
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health insurance should be tied to something other than employment. like if u have a cool record collection or if shy cats let u pet them
— chase (@_chase_____) January 19, 2025
my favorite film is the brief period of silence when you and the person you’re zooming with say goodbye & then realize you have to click a second button to leave the call
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) January 18, 2025