Shari Franke, the eldest child of imprisoned Utah mom vlogger Ruby Franke, is speaking out about her childhood in a new memoir called “The House of My Mother: A Daughter’s Quest for Freedom.”
Her memoir discusses her mother’s parenting, and the daily realities of growing up on camera for her mother’s YouTube channel.
Former mom vlogger Ruby Franke ran the popular “8 Passengers” YouTube channel, featuring her husband Kevin and their six children. Franke started the vlog in 2015 from the perspective of a busy stay-at-home mom, racking up millions of subscribers and brand deals along the way.
In August 2023, Franke and her friend, Jodi Hildebrandt, a licensed mental health counselor, were arrested and charged with child abuse, after Franke’s then 12-year-old son escaped from Hildebrandt’s home and ran to a neighbor for help. Police said the boy appeared “emaciated” and “malnourished” with open wounds and duct tape on his extremities, and later found his sister “in a similar physical condition of malnourishment.”
In February 2024, Franke and Hildebrandt were each sentenced to up to 30 years in prison for child abuse. They pled guilty and were sentenced for charges of abuse against Franke’s two younger children.
Now, Ruby Franke’s eldest daughter is publicly speaking out for the first time about what growing up was like in their household.
Ruby Franke as disciplinarian
“One hint of displeasure on my face, and whack! A smack on my arm, a flick to my lips, or a sharp tug on my ear,” writes Shari Franke of her 6 a.m. piano practices. Shari writes that Ruby slapped her often, saying in her memoir, “In her twisted logic, she was molding obedience, sculpting compliance with each stinging blow. I also think we were just her punching bag, a way for her to release her anger.”
Both Franke and Hildebrandt pleaded guilty to four counts each of child abuse.
TODAY.com reached out to lawyers for Ruby Franke, Kevin Franke and Jodi Hildebrandt, and did not get a response.
A childhood under ‘constant surveillance’
“Birthdays, barbecues, even lazy Sunday afternoons — no moment was too mundane to escape documentation,” Shari Franke writes in her book.
“But for me, a 12-year-old girl, this constant surveillance was excruciating,” wrote Shari. “All I wanted was to grow up in peace, deal with my bodily changes and these pesky new zits, without it being recorded.”
Shari Franke writes that her mother directed her children for the cameras “like a Hollywood producer,” saying, “Do this, do that, Shari — we’re filming!” and “Smile, Shari! Say good morning.”
When the channel reached nearly one million subscribers, writes Shari Franke, Ruby Franke insisted on waxing her daughter’s eyebrows for a video — then removed half of her left brow. The result, writes Shari, “made me look like I was perpetually shocked by my own reflection.”
Shari Franke writes that her mother could not contain her “glee at striking content gold.” The video, captioned, “SHARI, I’M SO SORRY!!” was posted on the family channel, getting hundreds of thousands of views, writes Shari Franke.
Shari Franke describes Ruby Franke as becoming happier each time the “8 Passengers” viewership grew, and quotes her mother as saying that “God” had given her platform.
Shari Franke was once a YouTube influencer
Ruby Franke wasn’t the only vlogger in the family — when Shari Franke was 14, she started her own YouTube channel (now taken down), with Ruby Franke managing the related income.
“And like my mom, I exploited my own siblings, doing shaving videos with my sisters and talking about periods, because I knew it would get views,” Shari Franke writes in her book. “The guilt eats at me now, but back then, I was just following the blueprint Ruby had laid out: This is what people like; this is what makes money. The personal stuff.”
Shari Franke writes in her memoir that she discovered her mother was easy to manipulate.
“Ruby wanted me as her happy, smiling costar? It was going to cost her,” Shari Franke writes. “A trip to the mall, a get-out-of-chores-free card, a shiny new gadget — whatever I needed at the time.”
Jodi Hildebrandt was Shari Franke’s therapist
According to Shari Franke’s book, Jodi Hildebrandt entered their lives at a delicate time: Ruby and Kevin Franke were desperate to tame the behavior of their teenage son, and a family friend recommended Hildebrandt, a licensed mental health counselor who ran a life-coaching program called ConneXions.
While the ConneXions website no longer exists, it promised to “change and champion any addictive or self-destructive behavior,” as previously viewed and reported by TODAY.com.
Shari Franke writes that her mother signed up her teenage brother, and later Shari, for one-on-one counseling sessions.
Hildebrandt made her question whether she was a good person, encouraged self-deprecating thoughts and made her keep a journal of her shortcomings, according to Shari Franke’s memoir.
What did Kevin Franke do?
According to Shari Franke’s memoir, her dad Kevin backed up her mom in general, but occasionally offered her comfort.
When she was a young teen, Shari Franke writes that she became depressed due to the social media attention and her rocky relationship with her mother. Shari writes that she shared her feelings with dad Kevin, who suggested therapy.
According to Shari Franke, Ruby shot down the idea, telling her daughter, “Don’t be ridiculous. You just need to sleep better, exercise more, and eat right.” Shari Franke later went to therapy (not with Hildebrandt, who had not yet entered their lives).
Shari Franke writes that while her father didn’t initially trust Hildebrandt, he eventually supported her rules. When Ruby and Kevin Franke made their teenage son quit the football and track teams to make him more “responsible” — which Shari Franke writes was Hildebrandt’s decision — Kevin Franke told him, “This is for the best, son. Jodi knows what she’s talking about.”
The relationship between Ruby Franke and Jodi Hildebrandt
As Shari Franke started her freshman year of college at Brigham Young University, she writes, Hildebrandt moved into her childhood bedroom.
Shari Franke writes that her mom explained it like this: “Jodi’s not well. She’s being bombarded by the adversary. Her soul is under siege from Satan himself, Shari!”
Shari Franke describes Hildebrandt’s presence as an “occupation,” writing, “Night after night, she’d fall into these mysterious trances.” Eventually, writes Shari Franke, her mother moved into the same bedroom as Hildebrandt .
In the summer of 2022, Shari Franke writes, her father announced that he was leaving the family home at the suggestion of Ruby Franke.
“Kevin did not want to be separated,” Kevin’s attorney Randy Kester, told TODAY.com in 2023. “The separation was under terms proscribed by Ruby and Jodi Hildebrandt.”
In her book, Shari Franke shares her suspicions that Ruby Franke and Hildebrandt were romantically involved. After the women’s arrests, she writes, she figured out the password to her mom’s computer and learned more.
“I read some text messages, emails and journal entries in the Notes app that confirmed for me the truth about the nature of her relationship with Jodi and how it had spilled over into the physical,” Shari writes. “Ruby, expressing her frustration about having to cater to Jodi’s needs for physical affection without getting anything in return. My mother, servicing someone else? First time for everything.”
Shari Franke called child protective services
Shari Franke writes in her memoir that her mother “disowned” her a year before her arrest in August 2023. She also wrote that after Kevin Franke moved out of the family home, he told her that she was no longer allowed to speak to him or her teen brother. Shari Franke writes that her father would avoid her at Brigham Young University, where she attends college and where he was a professor.
Shari writes in her book that she called Utah’s Division of Child and Family Services for a welfare check on her siblings when she heard that Ruby Franke had left her younger children home alone for five days. According to Shari Franke, police visited the home and determined that the children “were there and apparently everyone was fine.” Shari Franke says she called DCFS again when a neighbor told her that Ruby Franke had pulled her children from school. After an investigation, writes Shari Franke, DCFS determined there was no evidence of physical abuse.
Josh Loftin, a spokesperson for the Utah Division of Child and Family Services, tells TODAY.com that he could not share specific information about the Franke’s case, and adds in a statement:
“The Utah Division of Child and Family Services (DCFS) respects that each child and family has a right to privacy and remains firm in our commitment to that privacy for the children and families of Utah.”
Loftin adds, “DCFS affirms law enforcement reports of our involvement in the Franke case. However, in order to protect the integrity of the necessary working relationships with those we serve, and to respect the privacy of children and families, DCFS will continue its practice and refrain from sharing specific information on a case, past or present.”
Ruby was terrified in prison
Shari Franke shares in her book that Ruby Franke had written a letter to Kevin Franke about her fears of being in prison.
“Even in a prison population filled with women accused of heinous crimes like murder and assault, Ruby quickly realized that convicted child abusers were considered the lowest of the low,” Shari Franke writes in the book.
Shari Franke added that from the letter, she understood that her mother was “learning to keep her head down” while trying not to appear weak to other inmates.
Where Shari Franke is today
Shari Franke, her brother and their father Kevin attended the sentencing of Ruby Franke on Feb. 20, 2024. Shari Franke writes that she was “filled with disgust” at the sight of her mother in the courtroom.
Shari Franke compares her mother’s courtroom statement, during which she called law enforcement “angels” who “saved” her children, to an awards show speech. Shari Franke writes that she felt Ruby’s tearful statement about her kids — “my babies, my six little chicks” — was hollow.
Shari Franke writes that she forgave her father Kevin, adding in her book, “I would never forget the pain he had caused, ignored, and enabled. He had not been absolved. But I had chosen to release the burden of resentment I held against him. In extending a hand of compassion and understanding, I was granting myself the freedom to heal.”
Now engaged, Shari is still attending college at Brigham Young University in Utah and last year, she spoke to the Utah House of Representatives about the dangers of family vlogging.
Shari Franke writes that she vowed to break the cycle of abuse, not only for “the child within me” but also her future children.