Kate Beckinsale has been grieving the loss of her late stepfather Roy (Image: Getty)
‘s step-father Roy Battersby died just over a year ago, having battled obstacle after obstacle – first two forms of cancer and then a severe stroke.
Now the British actress, who made herself a household name in , has admitted her guilt over his death, feeling that she “dreadfully failed”.
The Canary Black star took to in a contemplative mood yesterday evening as she shared her sense of loss over her “beloved Roy”.
“Finding my father‘s dead body alone in the middle of the night at the age of five shaped my entire life,” she began, taking her memories right back to the beginning. She continued: “Seeing my beloved stepfather die a year ago today will haunt me forever.
“It does seem terribly careless to have managed to be present for both deaths and unable to prevent either, the second time trying with every single thing I had. It was not enough,” she exclaimed. “In the process of losing my beloved Roy I lost family, friendships, at some points my own health, and all the money I had due to how disgusting the American healthcare system is for those who are not insured,” she winced.
However she was left in no doubt that, without question, she would “do it again”. “I cannot help feeling that I dreadfully failed – but I am trying to console myself today with all the preparation that he did in the last years of his life, how deeply he studied and practised as a Jungian [following the teachings of the late psychotherapist Carl Jung] and how thin the veil is between the energy of this life and whatever is next , that some part of him was at peace with it,” she wrote.
:
Kate Beckinsale shared a snap of beloved stepfather Roy Battersby on Instagram (Image: INSTAGRAM)
“It does feel like a lie I am telling myself to try and feel better, however. Perhaps I am just unfortunately not enlightened enough to sell that to myself over my sense of loss, guilt and failure.”
She added: “It is a tough day to talk about our fledgling and precious tragedy, but given that I couldn’t save him, I’ll be damned if I’m not going to honour him in some small way.
“He taught me how to be brave. He taught me that it doesn’t matter if people don’t like you as long as you’re doing the right thing.”
She elaborated that he had “lost everything fighting for justice” when it came to various political causes and trade unions.
Don’t miss… [PICTURES] [HEALTH]
Kate Beckinsale on the red carpet (Image: Getty)
Roy had made a documentary in the 1970s called The Palestinian, and took the extraordinary step of moving into refugee camps in Lebanon to immerse himself in their lives and provide informed commentary.
He also fought for miners struggling in the strikes, and Kate affectionately recalled how her stepdad had “lovingly helped my Jewish adopted grandmother who fled Germany at 14,to painfully uncover what had become of her brother and parents who did not make it.”
She added: “He was blacklisted by the and elsewhere. He would have had a completely different career if he had toed the line and not cared so much about what was right.
“I am so lucky that I was raised by someone who uncompromisingly knew what was right and lived it. And loved me. Thank you for being my father. I miss you so much.”