Five questions every parent must ask their child this week, according to counsellor

School’s out and the normal day-to-day madness is on hold, and this, says, former teacher and head of children’s counselling at , might afford you a rare opportunity to connect with your child.

“With fewer distractions, this can be the best time to get them to open up about what’s really going on in their lives.

“I speak to parents every day who struggle to start these conversations, so I tell them to ask these five questions designed to strengthen your bond, build emotional resilience and help your child feel supported.”

1) What were you really proud of this year?

“The end of the year is a natural time for reflection. Asking your child to highlight something they’re proud of encourages them to focus on personal achievements, whether that’s good grades or gaming.

“For children and young people who struggle with self-doubt, this question can be important. It also provides a window into what matters most to a child. The goal is to celebrate growth, no matter how big or small.”

2) What’s been the hardest part of this year for you? 

“While the holidays are a time for celebration, they can also be a period of high emotion. This question allows your child to acknowledge any challenges they’ve faced and vent frustrations or sadness they may have bottled up.

“This conversation is about validating feelings. Children and young people often struggle to process complex emotions so listen actively, without rushing to fix the problem.

“If your child is struggling with something anxiety, depression or bullying, this may allow you to offer additional support, such as professional help.”

3) How are your friendships going at the moment?

“For children and young people, friends are central to their emotional and social development,” says Helen. “Friendships can be a source of joy and stress as they navigate peer pressure, changing dynamics and social media influences.

“Give them the opportunity to open up about any concerns. Are they feeling isolated? Have they had conflicts that they haven’t shared with you? Are they struggling with feelings of belonging?

“This question is particularly important for teens. Social media often amplifies feelings of exclusion or comparison, leading to anxiety or low self-esteem. Christmas can be a lonely time if they feel disconnected from their peers. Letting them know that you care about their social life fosters trust and provides comfort.”

4) Is there anything worrying you about next year?

“Many children will start to feel the looming weight of returning to school, exams or social expectations. Asking about their concerns for the year ahead opens up space for your child to voice their anxieties, whether academic, social or personal.

“Encourage them to be open about their fears – whether that’s academic pressure or even mental health – and help them understand that it’s normal to have worries, but they don’t have to face them alone.

“This is a good opportunity to offer reassurance and help create a plan, so they feel more equipped to tackle the new year.”

5) Is there anything more you need from me?

“It’s easy to assume your child knows you’re always there for them,” says Helen. “But they can often struggle with articulating their needs or feel hesitant to ask for help or burden their parents. This question creates an open channel to ask for more emotional support or simply help with schoolwork and reinforces the idea that they don’t have to navigate life’s challenges alone.

“How you respond is crucial. Try to remain open, even if you feel defensive. There’s no such thing as the perfect parent. Being receptive to feedback will strengthen your relationship.

“Remember, the goal isn’t to solve every problem but to listen, support and guide your child into the new year.”