Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
3yo yelling, “YOU ARE NOT TALKING TO ME GENTLY!!!!!! YOU ARE MAD AT ME!!!!!!!” with such shock and disdain, i fear i may have gentle parented too close too close to the sun.
— emily may (@emilykmay) December 3, 2024
Told my 6yo his friend’s name was spelled Jacob and not J-cup and now he’s mad at me
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 4, 2024
Day 2 of elf of the shelf: I’ve been banned from swearing in my own house just in case my bad behavior reflects poorly on my daughter
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) December 2, 2024
I’m a parent of toddlers, so no, I’m not going to show you my Spotify-wrapped
— Korin Reid (@korinreid) December 5, 2024
Wow, my kids are decorating the heck out of this small lower left section of our Christmas tree.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 1, 2024
I don’t trust people with kids and a clean house.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) December 4, 2024
My 7yo casually told me he added a parachute to my Amazon cart that needed to be purchased soon with no additional explanation.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) December 3, 2024
Walking to baby’s doctor appointment and wondering if I have unreasonable expectations.*
*that the pediatrician will immediately confess this is the most spectacular human specimen she’s ever encountered and the reason she became a doctor.
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) December 2, 2024
Me: It’s 8:00.
6yo: No, it’s 7:59.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) December 2, 2024
very roundabout way to say my kid discovered the Encanto and Moana soundtracks pic.twitter.com/3KmU7nVuCx
— i’m @davejorgenson on bluesky (not @jdvance) (@davejorgenson) December 4, 2024
When my 9yo yells, “Help! I don’t understand my math!” And from the kitchen I yell, “Read it out to me!”
And the math’s like: If Joaquin and Saorise split ceviche—
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) December 3, 2024
make sure to tell your kids “merry rizz-mas”. they love it.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) December 1, 2024
Last night my seven year old asked to go to bed about 20 minutes before her normal bedtime. “Are you sleepy?” I asked. She said, “I’m not tired, I’m just tired of being awake,” and brother, I felt those words in my bones.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) December 4, 2024
Spotify Wrapped when you have an almost 2yo. What can I say, she just loves Rent!!!! pic.twitter.com/XPaFYOPUZt
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) December 4, 2024
My 6-year-old twisted his ankle & kept insisting that his “bone must’ve moved to the wrong place.” It looked fine, but I took him to get it checked out anyway. He has a bone chip, so the doctor sided with him. A piece of bone moved to the wrong place. 🥴
— Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 (@Tobi_Is_Fab) December 2, 2024
POV: I just asked Louie if he happens to know who keeps stealing the baby toys and hiding them in the basement. pic.twitter.com/AEt6Mkex56
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) December 5, 2024
My Parenting Wrapped 2024 includes 525600 minutes of not being listened to
— Big, Bad Caffeinated Dad 🇳🇿 ☕ (@Cafeinated_Dad) December 5, 2024
There’s nothing like your teen calling vinyl “cd thingy” to make you question where you went wrong in your parenting journey.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) December 5, 2024
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My 6yo showed me her Christmas gift list, so I told her it was great she’s giving Santa many options so he can choose what to get her and she said “What do you mean? It’s only 13 things I want”.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) December 3, 2024