The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humor lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
“don’t use q-tips to clean your ears, you’ll just push the wax in further!!” well, yeah, sure, except for my special technique. if I use my special technique then it’s fine.
— Avery Edison (@aedison) September 30, 2024
do men Sneeze Like That for attention
— mary tyler less (@islandinmymind) September 28, 2024
my friends: we are having babies, also we just got engaged, also we’ve just bought a house
me: a man with a history of not texting me back has liked an Instagram story, do we think this means something
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) September 29, 2024
Im sick of the microsoft authenticator like who would be logging in to do my work? Tf 😭😭😭😭
— inhiding (@kvrcnnn) September 28, 2024
unmuting at the end of a call just to say “nothing from my end, thanks” pic.twitter.com/1fKOFf2RNH
— sophie (@netcapgirl) September 30, 2024
this is the sunday morning where you have to put your entire life back together. if you don’t fix everything that’s going wrong in your personal, work or school life before noon today, you will never recover and everything will fall apart for good
— lauren (@Very__Regular) September 29, 2024
His name isn’t Normal Al Yankovic https://t.co/2ZLVLHprFE
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) October 3, 2024
Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in
— ✨ ✨ (@Angelicali0) October 1, 2024
4 mins before my next zoom meeting. Time to make myself an iced coffee, let my dogs out, put on eyeliner, start a load of laundry, empty the dishwasher and straighten my hair
— christinita (@majordouzie) October 2, 2024
Yes i have a mom https://t.co/CBecM4cImu
— Grip Bayless✨ (@talleyberrybaby) October 2, 2024
I bring a sort of “why do we do it this way” vibe to the work place that most don’t like
— plzhelpme (@RiscoKerm) September 28, 2024
I hate to generationsplain, but these two are GenX. You’re welcome to borrow them, but they must be returned to our shelf. pic.twitter.com/B4jOAhUKcN
— Jamie B. Golden (@jamiebgolden) September 30, 2024
Andrew Scott hot priest. Adam Brody hot rabbi. Is the world ready for Riz Ahmed hot imam
— Hannah (@hannnahmmarie) October 2, 2024
(Tracy Chapman at a budget wedding) you got a cash bar
— sophist (@no_sophist) September 29, 2024
“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.
— Sam Whyte (@SamWhyte) September 30, 2024
MAKE IT IN AN ADULT SIZE YOU COWARDS pic.twitter.com/Y8M9kPrWwc
— Hot Takes in Your Area (@seaweedanxiety) September 30, 2024
Babe what’s wrong, you don’t like pumpkin spice wartime election eclipse hurricane season?
— Amanda Fortini (@amandafortini) October 1, 2024
me watching any reality tv show: what type of PTO do y’all got
— . (@kingbealestreet) October 2, 2024
love the idea of immigrants crossing the border and immediately outbidding a white couple for a 3 bed/2 bath in suburban Virginia
— Nathalie Baptiste 🇭🇹 (@nhbaptiste) October 2, 2024
I’ve been saying this for years: Every major airport in America is leaving money on the table by not having a nail salon
— claudia irizarry aponte (@clauirizarry) September 30, 2024
here to report that there’s a Cake cover band called ‘Is It Cake?’
— limp brittzkit (@Brittymigs) September 30, 2024
gut health gap relationship
— carl marks (@lethalrejection) September 30, 2024
We cannot all be trying to head home at 5:00PM. We have to start going home in groups
— Swimma (@rachie8aa) September 30, 2024
Asked my sister for her netflix login in exchange for my max and peacock pic.twitter.com/NMIQOX1R0X
— wasian doll (@soberkravitz) September 29, 2024
my dream job is to have fun and tell everyone i love them
— quiche (@havingfunonIine) September 30, 2024
why apartments like to show u 15 pics of the leasing office like bitch lemme see dat bathroom
— squish (@kyonigotchi) September 29, 2024
hey girl how have you been??? omg, married with baby #2 on the way? amazing!!! me? ahahaha i’m just chilling, trying to ignore The Dark Empty! hmmm? ohhhh that’s just what i call the constant gnawing certainty that nothing will ever satisfy me! tell your folks i said hi 🙂
— Meg (@megannn_lynne) September 29, 2024
I love that Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe always look like they’re ready to drive off in a magic school bus pic.twitter.com/nTWrpYOjbS
— Heather Hogan (@theheatherhogan) September 29, 2024
Why is every bar trivia host hell bent on asking questions that I can’t the answer? Like I literally know the answers to sooo many questions and I could prove it if only they gave me a goddamn chance
— Keara Sullivan (@superkeara) October 2, 2024
british people actually ate with “you lot”
— meera (@twilightlustt) September 30, 2024
Uniqlo is amazing if you like having something sooooo close to exactly what you want
— rachel coster (@RACH4_theSTARZ) September 30, 2024
Breaking News: I did not go to my husband’s workplace today to cheer him on. Despite this stunning lack of support, we are still together. Thank you for respecting our privacy at this time https://t.co/kwgQnmbZyj
— ✨️Paige✨️ (@bejeweledpaige) September 30, 2024
no not rats having better access to reproductive healthcare than most women https://t.co/3NB2iJ1mZt
— em (@emilyagain) September 30, 2024
Support Free Journalism
Consider supporting HuffPost starting at $2 to help us provide free, quality journalism that puts people first.
Can’t afford to contribute? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. We hope you’ll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Already contributed? Log in to hide these messages.
im so bored im gonna join a poly relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out
— yash (@dildoswagginzs) September 30, 2024
Me: I have a toothache
WebMD: Your dad is the Zodiac killer— Natalie Would (@_NatalieWould) September 30, 2024
that time someone said they looked like they were in a shipwreck i’ve been laughing ever since https://t.co/dzzk9giC7j
— ؘjojo (@helllojojo) October 2, 2024
not to be an alarmist but is anyone else worried about how everybody is fucking stupid or
— jen-o-lantern 🎃🍉✍🏾 (@darlinginmyway) September 29, 2024
the october surprise is october being tomorrow
— Ariel Edwards-Levy (@aedwardslevy) September 30, 2024
Support Free Journalism
Consider supporting HuffPost starting at $2 to help us provide free, quality journalism that puts people first.
Can’t afford to contribute? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. We hope you’ll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Already contributed? Log in to hide these messages.