It’s extremely easy to write off most characters on “The White Lotus” as narcissists, but there’s one character in Season 3 who is really catching a clinical psychologist’s attention.
Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a New York Times bestselling author and an expert on narcissistic relationships, took to her YouTube channel Tuesday to unpack Season 3, Episode 4 of the hit Max anthology series.
In her video, Durvasula took a specific interest in the character of Rick (Walton Goggins), who comes off as a rude curmudgeon with a soft and oddly alluring side.
Durvasula, however, sees Rick a bit differently than most people and describes him in her video as “the vulnerable narcissistic guy who has the young British girlfriend,” referring to Rick’s partner on the show, Chelsea (Aimee Lou Wood).
Durvasula pointed out that it’s very easy to get attached to a person like Rick, and that even she has a hard time not succumbing to his charms. She even admitted that she’d be interested in treating him as a patient.
“Even I find myself kind of strangely trauma-bonded to that man, because I’m like, ‘Oh, I can see if we did the work with you we could get you there.’ But then I’m like, ‘Oh my gosh, you’re so mean,’” Durvasula said.
A vulnerable narcissist, sometimes referred to as a “covert narcissist,” is harder to spot because they don’t overtly show telltale signs of narcissism like the more familiar grandiose narcissist.
Experts told The Guardian in 2021 that a clear sign of this more sneaky form of narcissism includes a sense of victimhood. A covert narcissist, according to these experts, can “come across as sweet and innocent” or even “shy,” but they utilize “guilt-tripping, generosity as a means to control and feigning illness to gain sympathy.”
“In my experience, the covert is far more dangerous than a grandiose,” Lorna Slade, a psychotherapist who specializes in healing from narcissistic abuse, told the Guardian. “Not only because they are harder to spot, but crucially, since they are more shame-based, they are more easily triggered into what’s known as ‘narcissistic rage,’ which drives them to take spectacular revenge.”
Durvasula said in her YouTube video Tuesday that Rick seems to be driven by narcissistic rage in his quest to locate the owner of the White Lotus hotel in Thailand. In Season 3 of the “White Lotus,” Rick believes that this man (allegedly) murdered his father while his father was (allegedly) just trying to help people in Thailand.
Durvasula said that “a classical part of vulnerable narcissism” in Rick’s character is that he’s “holding on to this grievance.” She adds that Rick seems to believe that “all of the problems he’s had in his life” are due “to this loss of his father, that he could have been a better man had this not happened.”
She clarified that having a grievance alone is “not unusual and quite normal,” but added: “The way he’s holding on to it, like it’s become a single life sort of mission, and his entire narrative of his life is stuck in that — that’s a very common through line we see with people who are vulnerably narcissistic.”
She added that when she works with vulnerable narcissists, a big part of “the work is helping loosen them from that narrative.”
All in all, Durvasula applauded the show for its ability to realistically portray a vulnerable narcissist.
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“That’s a really meaty narcissistic story,” Durvasula said of Rick’s storyline. “Because they’re doing a fantastic job of depicting how vulnerable narcissism shows up. It’s actually a very nuanced storyline.”
To hear Durvasula’s take on how Rick’s narcissism plays into his dynamic with Chelsea on “The White Lotus,” check out her video in full.