Meghan Markle’s Netflix show is proof she and Prince Harry only want to save themselves

If Meghan’s new series really is Make or Break for her TV career I can confidently predict she’s done for. In fact as far as TV careers are concerned I’d say Meghan’s was so far down the proverbial toilet as to be irretrievable. Not only was the first episode of With Love patronising and hilariously funny for all for all the wrong reasons, it was also mind-numbingly boring.

In fact, when she was banging on about how she liked to show love to her friends by making them homemade bath salts (as if) I found my mind wandering to Hapless Haz and I wondering what the two of them talked about when they’re home alone – apart from themselves, obviously. Because they’re both boring and Meghan is fast-becoming like her “Spare” husband – irrelevant! They’re two egocentric, boring people obsessed with one just thing – themselves. And this show wasn’t about creating a lifestyle or making a beautiful welcoming home. It was one hundred percent designed to push home the message about what a wonderful, beautiful, fabulous person Meghan is.

Yes, sure the set looked beautiful. It had the kind of kitchen we’d all give our right arms for. The only problem is – it wasn’t Meghan’s kitchen. It was a kitchen specially hired for the show presumably because Meghan didn’t want her own messed up by the film crew.

Or maybe it was because hers doesn’t look or feel like the dream lifestyle she’s trying to fool the rest of us into believing she lives.

And just as the kitchen was a symphony of white, Meghan was too – white linen shirt, white linen shorts, white apron, white bee suit.

In fact the more I watched I realised the look producers were clearly going for was the kitchen in the Jack Nicholson/Diane Keaton movie, Something’s Gotta Give, which was designed by ’s Nora Ephron who made the interiors of her characters’ houses so fabulous that we all wanted to live there.

But that’s not what I felt about Meghan’s fake kitchen. It had more of a hospital vibe than a Nora Ephron vibe. As for the cooking part – Meghan clearly can’t cook which is maybe why she talked to the rest of us like we couldn’t either.

She talked about making a one-pan dish of pasta with a few tomatoes and a packet of dried pasta sound like she was splitting the atom.

Every ingredient she put into everything had been carefully measured and put together by someone else and it was there at her hand to just throw into the pan or the baking tin.

But what defined the show was its total lack of any kind of homely atmosphere. Yes, everything was beautiful, but what With Love lacked was love.

And does anyone actually believe that Meghan makes her own candles from wax gathered from her own hives or that she goes to gut-busting lengths to cater for her friends and make them feel at home? Because she strikes me as a woman who’d have staff to do all that.

OK, so her friend, the makeup artist Dan, arrived to stay in Episode One. Although he didn’t arrive at Meghan’s house, he arrived at the fake house set.

And for someone she’s supposed to have known and loved for 15 years its hard to put my finger on why they both looked so damn uncomfortable in each other’s company. In fact, Dan looked so terrified by the whole thing that he sliced into his hand with tomato knife within minutes of the show starting.

But it didn’t take long to see the how the dynamic worked between these two. This wasn’t a friendship of equals. It was a Master/ Servant relationship, one based on adoration and obedience – both obviously having to come from Dan.

Meghan would do something and it was Dan’s job is to say how right she was, how wonderful she is. He tasted a spoonful of her jam and the Oohs and Aaahs were positively orgasmic – and embarrassing because no jam ever tasted THAT good.

He tasted her very pan spaghetti and reacted like he was eating a Michelin-starred meal made by himself.

Poor lamb just kept on saying “wow”, “fantastic”, “beautiful” and Meghan stood there smiling lapping it all up. But what this show screamed to me is that that while yes, Meghan is without doubt beautiful she’s also dull and devoid of any sense of humour.

There were no quick-fire responses to her friends, no jokes to camera, no spontaneous laughter and certainly no self-deprecation.

This was a homage not to a lifestyle, not to her friends, but to Meghan herself. And it all felt so empty. I kept on thinking: is this the same woman who when she got engaged to Harry said the pair of them were determined to change the world?

This is the woman People magazine called “one of the world’s most influential women”. And remember she promised she was going to use her global influence to right the wrongs done to people less fortunate than her? She told us she wanted to be role model, particularly for young women.

She also described herself as a “feminist champion of human rights and gender equity” and insisted that philanthropy was going to be at the heart of her very existence. So why is her life these days all about grabbing money and fame for herself? And why does the most important “good cause” in Megans life these days appear to be her own?

How does someone who was determined to change the world end up playing the simpering “trad wife” and making her own bath salts?

Let me think for a minute. Oh yes – because there’s money in it. Lots of money. Don’t forget her and Harry’s contract is worth £100million.

Although if this series case goes the way I think it will I’m guessing might decide to dump Meghan and Harry who the world is finally seeing for what they are – a pair of narcissists who far from saving the world are now a pair of grifters interested only in saving themselves.

When interviewed for this show she said: “All this is part of the creativity I’ve missed.” What? Does she mean the creativity of making her own candles and putting flowers in vases?

What happened to her higher purpose, what happened to her feminist ideals?

“I see this a new chapter,” she said grandly. Meghan had better brace herself because far from being a new chapter I fear this silly, saccharine show could be her last one.