Andrey Rublev has bravely opened up on his mental health struggles (Image: Getty)
Andrey Rublev has bravely opened up on his battle with depression, admitting that he spent a long time feeling “completely lost”.
The Russian has been one of the most consistent players on the tour, finishing in the world’s top 10 for the last four seasons.
But Rublev revealed that he had also been living in pain and questioning the purpose of life for years.
“I was just kind of in a loop, lost with myself for a couple of years of, I don’t know, not finding the way, not understanding what to do, what for,” the world No. 9 said ahead of the Dubai Tennis Championships.
“I don’t know, sounds a bit maybe dramatic or whatever, like what the reason or purpose to live like that or stuff like that. Let’s put it this way, completely lost with myself and that’s it.”
Rublev spent years feeling the “pain”. He continued: “The thing is one thing when it’s happening one, month, two months, three months. Maybe you still have patience or something.
“But when it happens one year, two year, three year, four year, five. When it’s coming for many, many years, in one moment you cannot take it anymore.
“It’s like one pain that start to grow more and more and more and more, and you want to cut the arm and that’s it. So it was like this.”
Andrey Rublev won his 17th career title in Doha last week (Image: Getty)
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Rublev tried out anti-depressants but came off them after a year and began confiding in retired tennis icon Marat Safin.
“Then, I don’t know, was taking anti-depressants,” the 17-time title winner added.
“After a while I realised that it’s not getting worse, but something’s weird. I don’t like the feeling I’m having now even more. So I just stopped to take them, and that’s it.”
Rublev also found solace in speaking to Safin, who reached out following his tough first-round defeat at last year, where he smashed his knee with his racket multiple times.
“Yeah, then with the help of Marat, he kind of made me understand myself or look at myself, let’s put it that way. That’s it,” he explained.
“That was kind of a bit of restart of the bottom. Then from there, at least I was able little by little to start to move in a better direction. Now I’m moving little by little in this better direction.
“Like I was saying in the beginning of the year, I’m not happy. I’m not in a good or bad place, but I’m not feeling any more stress, I’m not feeling anxious, I’m not having depression. Let’s put it that side. I’m just neutral. Not happy, not bad, but at least I found a base. That’s a beginning.”
The work Rublev has put in off the court has translated to his tennis. The world No. 9 found himself in a tough spot on more than one occasion at last week’s Qatar Open, where he beat to
In the quarter-final, he blew a 5-2 lead over Alex de Minaur and couldn’t convert his first seven match points. But he remained focused to win the match at the eighth time of asking.
Rublev won two more three-set matches to claim his 17th title, and his second in Doha.