Work meetings aren’t exactly the most fun and exciting parts of our lives. But the vibes get significantly worse when manners go out the window.
Unfortunately, meetings can bring out some of people’s ruder instincts, and their colleagues suffer as a result.
HuffPost asked etiquette experts to identify the faux pas people often commit in work meetings, as well as advice for avoiding them. Read on for 10 examples.
Talking Just To Hear Your Own Voice
“Don’t talk just to hear your own voice,” said Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert, author of “Modern Etiquette for a Better Life” and founder of The Protocol School of Texas. “If you have something productive to offer, by all means chime in, but if you are one of those people who just talk to be a part of the conversation without having anything meaningful or valuable to add to the topic, allow those who have something to offer to take the floor.”
The goal is to help keep the meeting tight and efficient. Don’t waste people’s time with rambling and unclear language.
“When given the opportunity to speak, be concise, articulate your words, refrain from using profanity,” said Jackie Vernon-Thompson, the founder of From the Inside-Out School of Etiquette. “Seek intelligent and simple words to explain yourself. When speaking to a group, use terminology that leaves no room for misunderstanding.”
Showing Up Unprepared
“Speaking of wasting people’s time — make sure you’re prepared,” said Nick Leighton, an etiquette expert and host of the “Were You Raised by Wolves?” podcast. “Do your homework and be ready to talk about whatever it is that the meeting is about.”
Make sure you have all your documents and other supporting materials ready to go. Don’t go into it cold.
“If you are making a presentation via the screen, be sure to arrive early and connect your laptop,” Vernon-Thompson said. “Have your presentation on the screen, [and] fluently and confidently deliver your presentation, which demonstrates you were prepared.”
Multitasking
“Avoid multitasking,” Gottsman said. “Unless you’re using it for the meeting, put your phone away. It not only distracts the user, but also those around who are observing someone on their cell.”
Remember to put your devices on silent or vibrate, as well, to avoid interrupting the meeting with rings and notifications.
“Don’t sit in the meeting and scroll your social media pages,” Vernon-Thompson said. “More of than not, folks forget their volume is up. Once they scroll and a video appears, the sound will as well. This is the time to be attentive, demonstrating to the person who is speaking that you are interested, even if you are not. It is not appropriate to send a nonverbal message to the speaker that you are not interested.”
She also advised against munching on loud snacks during a meeting. Plan to eat before or after if you can.
Of course, sometimes meetings come at inconvenient times amid imminent deadlines. But “if you’re going to multitask, at least be slick about it,” Leighton said. “Ideally you’ll give everyone your full, undivided attention.”
Talking While Others Are Speaking
Don’t speak over others during the meeting and refrain from having side chats.
“Engaging in conversation while someone is speaking to the staff or group is rude,” Vernon-Thompson said.
Even if you think you’re being stealth, it’s still an impolite behavior and may distract others.
“Whispering or speaking privately during a meeting can be very disruptive and disrespectful,” Vernon-Thompson said.
Arriving Or Starting Late
“It is proper etiquette to be punctual,” Vernon-Thompson noted, adding that arriving on time indicates “that you respect the process and the person who scheduled the meeting.”
This applies to everyone, even higher-ups.
“Playing hierarchical games, such as senior person enters last, is egotistical,” said Jodi R.R. Smith, the president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting.
Don’t disrespect those who arrived on time by making them wait to get started, either. If you are facilitating the meeting, you should aim to arrive early so that you’re prepared to get started promptly.
“Whether you are attending an in office meeting or virtual, arrive on time,” Gottsman said. “While this means that you will turn your camera on and be ready to engage, in person, it means that you are actively listening and involved in the conversation when appropriate.”
Waiting Until The Meeting Is Wrapping To Pose A Question Or Chime In
You should aim to respect the meeting’s end time as well. That means speaking up before it’s over.
“Don’t wait to ask a question until the end, or after the meeting is over,” Gottsman said. “The reason for the meeting is to engage in real time.”
Chiming in when it’s appropriate is a better use of everyone’s time and prevents the need for a follow-up meeting.
“It is rude to extend meetings beyond the agreed upon timeframe,” Smith said. “You could throw off people’s entire day!”
Creating A Hostile Environment
“Do not speak negatively of another co-worker in the meeting,” Vernon-Thompson said. “If you have something to discuss that may be emotional, speak with them privately and resolve it because a hostile or contentious environment is not healthy for anyone.”
She also advised against “debating the person leading the meeting and making the attempt to prove them wrong or disputing their statement in the midst of colleagues.”
If you have a difference of opinion, wait until the appropriate time to share your thoughts in a respectful way after they’re finished speaking.
“Allow others to express their perspective without opposition from you,” Vernon-Thompson said. “Know that everyone doesn’t think like you and that is quite fine. It is important to remain professional and open-minded.”
Gottsman emphasized the importance of asking thoughtful questions and making productive statements.
“The goal is not to go with a flow, but to bring up potential problems and concerns,” she said. “The key is to do it respectfully and discuss any potential problems that need to be addressed.”
Not Sticking To The Agenda
Allowing your meeting to stray from the agenda can also waste people’s time.
“If you are the facilitator, start on time and end on time and cover the topic,” Gottsman said. “If something comes up that involves only a couple of people, determine another time to discuss, so the meeting will be concise and focused.”
Dressing Inappropriately
The COVID era made many of us get accustomed to working in our pajamas, but that doesn’t mean this is appropriate attire for a meeting.
“Follow the dress code, whatever that may be,” Leighton said. “This includes virtual meetings, too.”
The way you present yourself is important in a meeting, and this includes your body language as well.
“Be cognizant of your body language,” Vernon-Thompson said. “Sit up and engage by giving eye contact and, at the appropriate times, a smile or laughter.”
Planning A Meeting That Could’ve Been An Email
Meeting etiquette extends to the decision to even call a meeting.
“Before scheduling, the first question to ask: Does this even need to be a meeting? Or could this really just be an email?” Leighton said. “Respecting other people’s time is crucial, so make sure the time is worth it for everyone.”
The same goes for the invite list. Smith advised asking, “Who needs to be a part of this meeting? Who is included, but does not need to be there? Who is not there, but should really be included?”
“It is rude to waste people’s time in an unnecessary meeting,” she said. “It is equally rude to exclude someone from a meeting that is relevant to their work.”