The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded as X, their humor lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
why would i finish my thought when i could have a new, more exciting one
— erika (@yeeeerika) February 4, 2025
Me: This song always makes me so sad
also me: play it again
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) February 2, 2025
My new lunch bag is causing concern in the office pic.twitter.com/GJoerlGP4q
— Dr Helen Ingram (@drhingram) February 4, 2025
Just dropped my car off at the garage and managed to drop the word carburettor into conversation with the mechanic so he knows to take me seriously and he told me my car doesn’t have a carburettor
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) February 5, 2025
Teaching is crazy because one second I’m telling a kid not to eat crayons and the next another kid is asking where our souls live
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) February 2, 2025
one time my friend and I watched a guy trip on the sidewalk and try to play it off as a little dance and we talk about it like once a week https://t.co/kxw2q5jgUh
— trash jones (@jzux) February 4, 2025
stoned and asking everybody on facebook marketplace what the dimensions are
— sandy (@sandyhonig) February 4, 2025
the eras tour has ruined me…. I just looked up Super Bowl ticket prices just for fun and my initial reaction was “oh, that’s not bad at all” 🤦🏼♀️
— alexis ♡ (@lexs_version) February 5, 2025
sorry for the delayed response i was trying to figure out how to say “no” in the nicest way possible
— erica (@ericanextdooor) February 4, 2025
These days it is a Grammy for Chappell when it used to be going to Chapel with Grammy…
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) February 3, 2025
Every so often, I think about that person that heard Harriet Tubman “knocked out babies” so they’d be quiet on the journey and thought that meant she was punching them out. The way I laugh…I laughed typing this.
— Lakyn Thee Stylist (@OgLakyn) February 4, 2025
3rd attempt at making a salad.
WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?? pic.twitter.com/UzjrTZzfOP
— Tashy McTashface (@TashP351) February 4, 2025
can’t explain it but knowing someone named cody is for when you’re a teenager….
— sarah hagi (@KindaHagi) February 6, 2025
Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.
— 𝚂𝚔𝚒𝚗 𝙼𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚜 (@SkinMuffins) February 3, 2025
It’s funny when you have a cold you think, when this is over, I’ll really start living, I’ll appreciate every day, never taking breathing for granted, then the day your throat stops hurting you think, I’ve actually felt like this forever I’ll probably never feel another way.
— Christin (@hexprax) February 5, 2025
we should title all sequels like this…another dune…another hunger games….another spider man….. https://t.co/2DgAvu5MXp
— trish (@ULTRAGLOSS) February 5, 2025
If you let them shenan once, they’ll shenanigan.
— B, The Favorite Ex-GF ✨ (@crushed_silver) February 3, 2025
tiny measuring spoon: hey, nice garbage disposal you got there, would be a shame if something were to… happen to it
— meghan (@deloisivete) February 4, 2025
winning a grammy for being hater lowkey the most inspired i’ve felt in a while https://t.co/zqZiB0yV2R
— monica (@waystarroyhoe) February 3, 2025
Grandma wrote me an email to ask me to seriously consider whether I’m ready to take ownership of her christmas village.
I think I am, but based on her tone, I’ve vastly underestimated the work involved in 8 small ceramic houses.— Betty (@bteyttrttbsee) February 5, 2025
No one:
Matilda’s dad: https://t.co/tm5jZnkivK— Grusha🕯 (@decadentquill) February 4, 2025
I’m not afraid of Trader Joseph. Or his parking lot.
— Beefsteak 🐄 (@ol_scarbrain) February 4, 2025
my husband if he was a donut pic.twitter.com/Hvp367NIbk
— mia (@httpsosweet) February 3, 2025
If I worked at a restaurant on Valentine’s Day, I’d secretly drop fake engagement rings into random drinks—just to sit back and watch the chaos unfold. Bon appétit!
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) February 3, 2025
why the fuck is my laundry bin always full i’m not even going anywhere
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) February 5, 2025
listen if you ask me to pre-screen your hinge date i will deliver pic.twitter.com/fBtZD1Ed83
— kenzi (@kenzianidiot) February 4, 2025
Somebody stole my co worker money so I asked how much she said $100 but then I went in the bathroom and counted it shit was only $53
— t. (@t_sadiity) February 5, 2025
‘Omg when will this nightmare end??’
– me experiencing any sort of minor inconvenience
— L (@Ann_Hedonia1) February 4, 2025
https://t.co/1952e7XrgNpic.twitter.com/NQsb2FhKDd
— no (@zedonarrival) February 3, 2025
The second you visit a website https://t.co/xKDEX07my0
— Dr Sean Travers (@seanjetravers) February 5, 2025
Sugar company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?
— Kristen (@Kica333) February 5, 2025
great time to get an english degree honestly nobody can read or write you might become scribe to the king in the next 15 years if you know cursive the way things are going
— LAUREN ASH (@laurenashastro) February 4, 2025
“situationship” “not looking for anything serious” “figuring out my dating goals” We have like 6 months of society left. Marry me or else
— Meg (@megannn_lynne) February 5, 2025
The producer was in the booth screaming CUT TO A TRANS PERSON IN THE AUDIENCE QUICK and the best they could do was Billie Eillish https://t.co/3mxycqkyDo
— Mia Moore (@StopTweetingMia) February 3, 2025
you can always tell when someone’s favourite fruit is performative and not representative of their true spirit
— juliette ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ (@miffys_mom) February 3, 2025
*flirting with someone in their 30s*
so like hows ur back or whatever
— ˚ʚ 🐈⬛ ɞ˚ (@Cyb4rAnGeL) February 5, 2025
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Passing this bag down to my future daughter who will also later pass it down to her daughter and so on pic.twitter.com/cALs9t0XcG
— Lauren (@libralaur) February 5, 2025
‘go with the flow’ i tell myself as i tumble down the stairs
— 🥀✨🪶 (@ash_may_bite) February 4, 2025
sometimes you gotta separate the art from the artist pic.twitter.com/mwYPUKYYvf
— m a r s 🇵🇭 (@marsdelac) February 4, 2025