Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
My son just asked if i knew him when he was 2 years old😭😭😭😭
— Ezinye Zazo (Rebranded) (@uLuyanda_Gama) February 2, 2025
There’s a man at the playground with such an impressive dad voice that when he yelled “PUT IT DOWN” I automatically dropped my book
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) February 5, 2025
Two year old is in complete denial that her grandpa is my dad. She gets so mad if I tell her
— neature vs norture (@chionogirl) February 4, 2025
My 7yo asked if the neighbor’s valentine decorations were legal, and I didn’t know he was on the HOA board
— meghan (@deloisivete) February 6, 2025
You can do so much in 2 minutes.
Just ask my children who, while I was in the bathroom, coated 1/4 of the kitchen with avocado oil.
— Back-Up Tambourine Player (@UpTambourine) February 5, 2025
3yo daughter: mommy you yelled at me the other 4 days ago.
Me: again, I raised my voice and that was not kind. I’m sorry.
Her: yeah because you got this many louds. *held up 2 fingers*.
Me: I’m really sorry.
Her: only do zero louds again.
💀💀💀
— Princess | Mindfulness | Conscious Parenting (@themultiplemom) February 4, 2025
Just overheard my husband in the next room, talking to the baby, say “they called it the ship of dreams, and it was.”
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) February 1, 2025
My daughter woke up at 6:06 today instead of her usual 6:00 because we let her stay up 5 hours past her bedtime last night.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 1, 2025
13 year old’s girl group is a shambles right now because one of the girls responded “whomp whomp” to the news that another girl’s dog died. 😭
— lucile desmoulins ☭🔻 (@daringlucile) February 4, 2025
yall my daughter is so so so sick and my son is not and this is the worst combination 🙃 trying to take care of a six year old who can’t get out of bed while trying to entertain a three year old who is zooming in circles yelling “MAMA I’M SICK TOO!” (reader, he is not sick)
— emily may (@emilykmay) February 2, 2025
4yo: Do you want to come with us?
Me [driving]: Are you talking to your stuffie?
4yo [pointing at a cemetery we’re passing]: No, I’m talking to the dead people.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) February 6, 2025
me: my first girlfriend was in the 6th grade.
my 10yo: wow that was a long time ago, do you think she’s still alive?
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) February 1, 2025
every daycare has 3 kids exactly like this. doesn’t matter which city you live in. pic.twitter.com/iOJgydi7Hn
— Los Feliz Daycare (@LosFelizDaycare) February 3, 2025
My 7yo said he doesn’t like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and that putting chocolate and peanut butter together is stupid and disgusting.
I’m now convinced he must’ve been switched at birth.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) February 5, 2025
My daughter told me she got her boyfriend by approaching him to feel his hoodie, and saying “this feels like boyfriend material” and now I don’t know what to do with this information.
— BOOP (@Pettyyyboop) February 5, 2025
My 5 yo heard on the radio that @KingJames is the same age as me. This led to a longer discussion about me vs LeBron James and to make a long story short I’m going to show and tell on Friday to talk about my 14 NBA championships.
— Upside Dad (@UpsideDad) February 3, 2025
Kid: we don’t watch tv tonight
Me: no baby
Kid: just books tonight
Me: yes baby
Kid: no tv tonight because I peed on the couch
Me: that’s right baby— am rod (@arod_twit) February 5, 2025
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Just got an alert that my 9yo downloaded google slides, so I know some kind of presentation is headed my way
— meghan (@deloisivete) February 4, 2025