Note: This post contains mentions of explicit sexual content.
So to normalize having intimate conversations (whether it has to do with romantic relationships, love, or sex itself), Reddit user u/demideity7asked women: “What NSFW questions do you have for men that you are too embarrassed to ask in person?”
And not only were the questions interesting, but the answers from the men were incredibly varied and, at times, unexpected. Here’s what the men had to say:
Answer #1: “Legitimate interest on her part. Anything can happen and I’m fine with it as long as I know she’s doing it because she likes it.
And also, face-sitting. Don’t feel self-conscious about it either.”
Answer #2: “Giving you pleasure, making you want it, teasing, oral, etc. Foreplay IS sex, not just something you gotta do before. It’s half the fun!!”
Answer #3: “Two sides to this answer: What I want you to do to me, AND what I want from you when I’m doing things to you…
What do I want a woman to do to me? Honestly, I just want you to enjoy yourself. If you’re just going through the motions I will probably be able to tell. Like, if you hate to go down on me, you probably won’t give the best head. And although ‘bad head’ is still good head, there’s no reason to do it just because you feel obligated. I can get just as turned on by a woman kissing my neck and fondling my balls as I can by a woman going down on me.
Every guy is different. And even situations are different. Like, if you are horny and want me to spank you and beat it up from behind, then the way you come at me with foreplay should align with this desire. If you want me to be gentle and make love, then kiss me gently, too. I’ll follow your lead. And as for what to do during foreplay? Pretty much any touching or kissing anywhere is a turn-on. It typically doesn’t take much. Asking is a huge turn on, too!!! ‘Do you like it like this’ uh, yes, I do! And thank you for asking, and now I’m so turned on that you asked that I’m going to have to immediately ravage you!!!
And as far as foreplay for you, don’t fake it. My goal is to turn you on. If what I’m doing isn’t doing it for you then don’t let me waste both of our time! Give little ‘commands’ or ‘course corrections’ to guide me to what you want.
Now I will say, in my younger years, getting directions was a bit of a blow to the ego. I thought I knew what I was doing, so to be told I was doing it wrong kind of hurt! Lol. But some of it had to do with the way I was told I was doing it wrong… Don’t just be a dick about it! If you say, ‘Why are you doing it like that?’ With an attitude, is going to make me just not want to do it anymore. Ever! That may sound like it’s obvious, and it would go both ways, but that was a prior experience I had, so I figured I would share it!
However, if you say something like: ‘That feels good, use your tongue more’ or ‘Baby, I like that, slow down a little bit,’ I will get excited that I am on the right track and that you’re enjoying it, and it’s honestly always been a turn on to get a little bit of direction. Being able to ensure your partner is enjoying themselves should be a turn-on! Unless, of course, you’re with a selfish partner.”
— u/50at20
Answer #1: “Yes… until I remember I look like a thumb from that angle.”
Answer #2: “There’s a chance that this is just for me, but, eye contact during ANYTHING is sexy. Eye contact while I’m inside? (in any way, really) Fast pass to cum town. Eye contact while you sexy talk and all clothes are still on? Fast pass to cum town. Eye contact when she tells me ‘you’re REALLY good at Mario Kart and I hate it?’ You guessed it baby, cum town.”
Answer #3: “Depends on the guy. Most guys are 100% for it. I am not. At all. I also have hellacious anxiety lol. When in doubt, ask all the questions. And if you’re hesitant to ask questions about what goes on in the bedroom, you should probably ask more questions about what goes on outside the bedroom.”
Answer #1: “It doesn’t do much for me, but that’s a good thing.
Moves that aren’t as stimulating for the man are our opportunity to back away from the edge so that we don’t end up finishing too early.”
Answer #2: “I think I can speak for most men when I say, sometimes it’s also nice to change pace and see her enjoy herself.”
Answer #3: “It’s not particularly as stimulating as thrusting, but if I actually put my energy into feeling what’s going on, it feels awesome all while not bringing me as close to orgasm as thrusts would. Plus, the knowledge that she’s enjoying it helps to continue turning me on.”
— u/25546
Answer #1: “Just making out with someone I love is better than sex with a stranger.”
Answer #2: “Yes. I’m much bolder with a woman I know I’ll never see again.”
Answer #3: “Can’t speak for other men. But, yes it’s absolutely different. With a one-nighter, it’s more like getting an itch scratched. Sometimes that need isn’t just physical. Maybe it’s to feel newness, some carnal desire. But, in the end, it’s just a basic instinct that needs to quench, and nothing more. After those, I tend to feel more emotionally drained and unfulfilled. So, I tend to hate those.
But with an intimate partner, that fills a need in my heart that can’t be filled any other way. Discovering something about her that I know few others know. A trick, technique, or motion, that few could possibly know to find that combination that really gives her goosebumps. The secrets to her very pleasure. Then to get those discoveries returned.
Maybe she learns something that no other woman has found out about me. Maybe she gives me goosebumps. Maybe she finds out insight, that no one else, including myself, has ever known. That is what truly connects me with her. Each thing is more and more powerful. And maybe at times, that’s found out by fulfilling the need, almost dutifully on our part. Or, maybe not. Either way, it’s totally different.”
Answer #1: “Yes, if I’m focused on something else or stressed about work, then sex becomes an afterthought, and that can drag on for months.”
Answer #2: “100%. And with traditional stereotypes for gender roles, it just adds to the pressure of the guy being the one to initiate. It’s anxiety-inducing to weigh ‘I’m exhausted’ with ‘I’m going be more exhausted’ and how that affects the relationship.”
Answer #3: “No. For me, there’s always time for sex. It improves my mood and makes it easier for me to focus. Not to mention intimacy is important in one’s life.”
Answer #1: “A small amount with each heartbeat. If you’re holding on to it, you can actually feel it get slightly bigger with each pulse.”
— u/Lux100
Answer #2: “Depends… if you notice it sliding up your pants then it’d typically slow, but if your S.O. is standing in front of you saying she’s ready, it kinda just happens, and you won’t notice.”
Answer #3: “Usually slow. It’s blood we’re talking about, not a freaking Star Wars lightsaber.”
Answer #1: “For me, that’s basically pressing a ‘nut’ button. I was doing doggy with my ex and it was smooth sailing, not even close to nutting, then she reached back and grabbed my sac, and before I could even react, my pelvis fused to her ass as I turbo-pumped a mega load.”
Answer #2: “My girlfriend does this in missionary. I’m near 50, and this is the first time anyone has ever done this and it’s absolutely amazing.”
Answer #3: “Stay away from my balls. Do not touch them, do not suck them, do not cup them, do not lick them, do not even go so far as to acknowledge their existence, thank you very much. I know I am in the minority on this.”
Answer #1: “I’m married and it’s about once every three days or so on average. Mostly when I’m bored at home by myself when my wife is at work.”
Answer #2: “Every other day sometimes, twice a day other times. I think it’s kinda seasonal. I’m in my late 30s.”
Answer #3: “Sigh. Every 2–3 days in my 50’s. A couple per day in my 20’s unless I was bored, then multiply it was 2–3 times.”
Answer #1: “It’s kind of a dull ache with moments of sharper pain or discomfort, and if it starts to radiate it can start to feel like stomach cramps.
I would like to note, however, that you should never let a guy use ‘blue balls’ to pressure you into sex. If it’s really bothering him, I assure you, he is capable of taking care of it on his own. A guy putting the pressure on like that is probably a sign to eject the whole man.”
Answer #2: “Cummie ache.”
Answer #3: “You know, I’m 40 and I’ve never experienced this. I’ve been in plenty of situations where I feel it would have happened, by the scenarios I’ve heard described. A total mystery to me, these blue balls.”
Answer #1: “Depends on how you move. If you’re literally bending the dick, you’re doing it wrong — but if you’re just moving it without bending, it’s fine.”
Answer #2: “Completely dependent on the angle. Ideally, your vagina is lined up vertically with the penis during reverse cowgirl and it is more up and down than forward and back…if that makes sense. Often women will be too low and misaligned and that can cause forward bending of the dick — and if done too vigorously, a terrible injury can happen.”
Answer #3: “No, not at all, I love it… BUTTTT… the one thing that hurts like a bitch for me is every woman seems to want to grasp my shins and use that for her balance and power, and it kills me. I always tell my S.O. to move her hands as far up as possible toward the knees. I understand you need balance and leverage, I get it, but for whatever reason, my mid to lower shins kill me with that kind of pressure.”
Answer #1: “I don’t get the urge to moan at all. I pretty much have to remind myself to make sounds because I’ve read all that ‘women like it when you make sounds’ stuff. I don’t know how believable I’m being.”
Answer #2: “I was silent for many years. The wife said she wanted feedback. Turns out, primal growls are what I was suppressing. Deep and guttural. Bear like. She likes.”
Answer #3: “I try to make some noise and talk to my wife during sex. Don’t want her to feel like she’s having sex with a ninja.”
Answer #1: “We like to hang around you, actively make the choice to pursue your company, smile and look at you in groups and generally get along very well, and usually they’re into you.”
Answer #2: “You want to know the actual secret? They will mirror you.
If you smile at them, they will do the same back to you. Men are very sensitive and are really in tune with the one they like, so they will be very reactive to them. Even when they try to hide it.
So do let them know because they are thick as bricks and will spite their own feelings.”
Answer #3: “You don’t have to ask yourself questions like:
I wonder why he replies so late.
I wonder why none of his friends know about me.
I wonder why he seems kind of distant.
I wonder why I don’t know anything real about him.
I wonder why he never asks me to do anything with him.
I wonder why he knows nothing about me.
The typical dude shows through action. Treat words from men as completely hollow and insignificant, unless backed up by actions.
And there’s no reason to get mad when a guy does not act the way you expect. He is his actions, and he is who he is. ‘WHY DO YOU ALWAYS REPLY THE DAY AFTER.’ He’s just not into you. Move on.
Ps. The key word here is: ‘patterns.’
One time is nothing, two times is a line, and three times is a pattern.”