Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
4 y/o is requesting that I have five more children “so [she] can fight them” ???????
— Helen Roy (@helen_of_roy) January 13, 2025
Cleaning your kids room will piss you off cause why is my Air Fryer in here.
— 🇨🇦ƬӨЯᄃΉIΛ🇫🇷🇮🇹 (@kingtorc) January 15, 2025
Just started an episode of 30 Rock and said to my 4-month old baby “this brand of comedy is important to this family so please pay attention.”
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) January 13, 2025
Trying not to be a mom that brags about her kid’s accomplishments but some of the stuff my son is doing with tummy time — I mean, you wouldn’t believe it. Revolutionary
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) January 14, 2025
We are out of real food and about to go grocery shopping but my 4yo just called this lunch “the best lunch ever” pic.twitter.com/abn6KoFBwX
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) January 11, 2025
When I was in elementary school, I won first place in three years of science fairs. When my daughter was in elementary school, I also won first place in three science fairs.
— Felicia (@LostFelicia) January 15, 2025
I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 16, 2025
What I said: it’s time for bed
What my kid heard: it’s time for pasta
— meghan (@deloisivete) January 16, 2025
[1 hour 23 minutes into a movie]
daughter: can we watch a different movie? I don’t like this one that much.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) January 10, 2025
i made homemade chicken pot pie for dinner tonight and my kids ate multiple helpings. I’ll ride this high until tomorrow night’s dinner.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 14, 2025
my toddler is mostly non verbal. yesterday i was playing with him & asked “what sound does a cat make?” & to my surprise, he actually said “meow” clear as day. i said “how long have you been able to do that???”
— droid mom (@droidxmom) January 12, 2025
One thing about being a mom is someone’s gonna tell you you’re doing it wrong
— Heidi Klum’s worm face (@cactus_jinx) January 11, 2025
My kids just charged me $45 for a scoop of pretend ice cream, inflation is out of control.
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) January 13, 2025
Our youngest has started driving herself to and from school and is now getting ride requests from her friends so it’s nice to see someone else wearing the chauffer’s hat for a change.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 14, 2025
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My mother-in-law: he’s not warm enough
My kid: pic.twitter.com/1Madc8ZNmA
— meghan (@deloisivete) January 11, 2025
“I want those when you die”
-My 9yo adorably thinking there’ll be inheritance
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 11, 2025
My husband went out with friends last night. So I introduced the kids to Ace Ventura and now they keep addressing him from their butts and he’ll think twice about leaving me alone with them again.
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) January 12, 2025