Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
today my son asked me if other animals date too and i honestly never thought about that. imagine dating an avoidant bird? every argument, they’d just… fly away.
— kemi marie (@kemimarie) January 10, 2025
My kid is so insistent about wearing dresses that I’ve had to layer thermals under poofy dresses meant for summer. Preschool sent us a pic of her next to her friend in a tulle summer dress with a thermal underneath. Like oohhh you two have been locked in a diva off.
— am rod (@arod_twit) January 8, 2025
ok this is getting ridiculous. it can’t just be the one guy. it’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) January 7, 2025
Our son, who lives in Brisbane, fully 10,000 miles out of earshot, has just sent our daughter, who lives under our roof, some bagpipes.
— Clare Chambers (@ClareDChambers) January 4, 2025
How to lose a drone in 10 minutes
-a memoir by my husband and 7yo
— meghan (@deloisivete) January 7, 2025
My niece came over and my daughter’s hamster had died so I was worried she would be upset by it but she said “I’m ok with dead bodies” and now I’m worried for a whole other reason
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 8, 2025
Graphic novels are awesome if you need your kids occupied for 7.5 minutes at the cost of $30.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 4, 2025
Today, after approximately 2,394,567 days home, my kids finally go back to school.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) January 6, 2025
Not my child doing Spider-Man poses on the floor of a 110 year old train station…
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) January 4, 2025
My 4yo is saying preschool is shut today and he should probably stay home and watch a show about tornados instead. I said home is shut and he can draw a tornado at preschool instead. We are staring at each other blankly.
— sarah (@sarahradz_) January 6, 2025
7yo: We’re having a Yes Day at school and our teacher has to say yes to anything we ask for!
Me: What are you going to ask for?
7yo: We asked if she would take us to Starbucks.
Me: And she said yes??
7yo: She said no.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) January 10, 2025
please say a prayer for my 9 yo. Nothing’s wrong with him he just can’t get to dollar general today to buy yet another robux gift card for himself.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 10, 2025
For the 1st 3 months we only put the baby in simple onesies because we were too tired to deal with anything else and then I suddenly realized he’s about to outgrow a ton of cute clothes so now we’re changing him every 5 hours like the Anne Hathaway montage in Devil Wears Prada.
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) January 9, 2025
We’re onto the *here’s your iPad and yes please do stay on it at all times *part of the school holidays.
— Late to the party Laura (@ericamorecambe) January 4, 2025
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Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life” and it’s just they were told to unload the dishwasher.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 6, 2025
When I was a kid we didn’t have social media or apps to notify us about school cancellations, we listened to an AM station on the radio and it took 2 hours to get to your school because it began with “W” and then someone would cough and you’d miss it so mom made you go anyway.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 7, 2025
My take on parents who brag about how they never let their kids watch screens and their kids are better than other kids is they can’t really know for sure unless they have a control kid they ONLY let watch screens.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) January 6, 2025