Car theft is out of control says Richard Madeley (Image: Getty Images)
We’ve had two more or less brand-new cars stolen from our drive in the last couple of years. Both belonged to my daughter; both were probably whisked away using cloned key remotes.
Neither was ever seen again (well, not by us): in both cases, the police response was merely to offer Chloe a crime number for insurance purposes. They never even turned up at the house. That was it.
So it came as no surprise to learn this week that, across the UK, police forces solve just That translates to an 80% chance of getting away with it if you’re minded to make your living pinching cars. Not bad odds for big returns and zero income tax, eh?
The game’s even more attractive in London where 90% of vehicle thefts in the capital now go unsolved. Mind you, it’s not much better in South Yorkshire – it’s 85% there. We’re in near-scot-free territory here, aren’t we? And are organised on an industrial scale; this is no nicking for joy-riding.
Cars like Chloe’s are either broken up for parts or driven to ports, loaded in containers, and shipped abroad, where they’re given new digital identities and sold on the open market. It’s a multi-million pound racket – and UK police seem powerless to stop it.
Car hacking technology is blamed for fuelling the rise, but the who commissioned the research, say one answer is to boost community policing. I’m not sure how that would help. How could a patrolling bobby tell that someone calmly opening a car with a remote device and driving off wasn’t the owner?
My own car is pretty secure at the moment. Even against me. The battery died over Christmas with the doors locked, so the key fob’s useless. And I can’t use the emergency manual key in the only keyhole on the driver’s door because that lock got firmly stuck in the closed position a few days before the battery died.
Short of smashing a side-window, I can’t work out how to get in.
Can you be done for breaking into your own car? At least it would be an easy arrest. In today’s upside-down world, I wouldn’t bet against it.
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Burglar Bill won’t break into your home if you’re playing classical music. So say , who advised families living in a particularly crime-hit road to reach for Rachmaninov or churn out Chopin to scare off thieves.
Seriously. One resident who sent the police pictures of offences near The Beatles’ Abbey Road studios was astounded to receive a reply advising him to play classical music such as Mozart or Bach, because it “prevents crime”.
Hmm. Given the Abbey Road connection, wouldn’t some Beatles tracks be better? How about Get Back? Let it Be? Or, if all else fails… Help!
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Models like need to be more than just a pretty face these days, according to “the model agent’s model agent” Sarah Doukas. She “discovered” the then-14-year-old Moss sitting on top of a suitcase at New York’s JFK airport. Doukas knew “in a heartbeat” she was looking at a potential supermodel, and the rest is history. But today, she says models are heavily vetted and need “extra strings to their bow”. Actually, I think that’s a bit unfair on Kate, who has hidden depths behind her ultra-private persona. Plenty of strings on her bow.
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President-elect Donald Trump talks to reporters after a meeting with Republican leadership (Image: AP)
I wonder if we’ve just seen a dress rehearsal for inevitable . Musk’s unceremonious dumping of Reform leader was the equivalent of a teenage lover’s tiff (“You don’t like my friends, so I don’t like you!”) and a sign of bigger rifts to come.
Musk throws wobblies. So does Trump. How much longer before one of them has a hissy fit about some quibble or other? They’re way too close for comfort in the harsh world of power-politics – literally too close.
Elon’s been a fixture at Donald’s Florida mansion for weeks now. How long before they start to get on each other’s nerves? Trump’s already joking he can’t get rid of his house-guest. Am I alone in detecting an edge to the remarks?Musk’s abrupt severing of the ties that bound him to (so flimsily, we now realise) was a real revelation of character.
He’s impetuous and imperious. He’s also the world’s richest man. Mega-rich Trump’s a pauper by comparison, and his political power will evaporate in four short years.
I give their love-in four short months. You can quote me.