‘Allo ‘Allo wouldn’t make it to air on BBC today – but not for the reason you might think

Inside a 16th-century thatched Cotswold cottage, three old friends relax around the kitchen table reminiscing about their careers. Drinking copious cups of coffee and munching Florentines, their laughter fills the room.

But what makes this trio different is that they’re Kim Hartman, Richard Gibson and Guy Siner, three actors from the wartime sitcom ’Allo, ’Allo!, which ran for 10 years after marching on to our screens in 1982 and still entertains millions of viewers today.

The gathering in Hartman’s rustic kitchen, however, is more than a friendly catch-up, as the microphones and recording equipment indicate. It’s helping keep the show’s memory alive for its devoted fan base via the pals’ new podcast, named Listen Very Carefully. Voted the Radio Times’ podcast of the week, it’s had tens of thousands of downloads.

Listen Very Carefully was the brainchild of Hartman’s son, Tom.

“He heard a Keeping Up Appearances’ podcast and thought I should record one with Richard and Guy about ’Allo ’Allo!,” explains Hartman, 72, who played Private Helga Geerhart, the German temptress. “We’re old friends and very relaxed with each other so it’s great fun.

“Richard takes care of the technical side, and Guy is good on social media so concentrates on publicity while I provide the studio, dinner and clean beds!”

A second later, Giorgio, her large black cat, leaps onto the table and knocks the microphones. “We just spent 30 minutes setting up all the equipment! Still, it’s all a technical learning curve,” she smiles good-naturedly, ushering the cat out into the garden – only for it to return via the cat flap!

Siner, 76 – who portrayed Lieutenant Gruber, the German officer who took a shine to café owner René – Hartman, and 70-year-old Gibson – alias Herr Flick, the sinister Gestapo officer – are to record episode 24.

“As one reviewer wrote, ‘The instalments are warm and comfortable, it’s like sharing a bottle of red wine with old friends you haven’t seen for years’,” smiles Hartman.

Rewatching the episodes has rekindled so many memories, including of their late co-stars Gorden Kaye, who was womanising cafe owner René Artois, and Carmen Silvera, who played his wife, Edith.

“When we were making the sitcom all those years ago, I couldn’t watch episodes on TV because I hated my performance and was very self-critical. Now, it’s like a different person on the screen and I can sit back, relax and enjoy the programme,” admits Hartman, who had to modify her accent early in the first series.

“At my audition, I claimed my accent was brilliant, which was a little white lie because it was terrible. I began by speaking like a Swede, apparently. After a few days, David Croft whispered, ‘You need to rethink your accent.’ My heart nearly stopped, thinking he’d recast me but, thankfully, he didn’t.”

Stockings and underwear were a big part of the character. Before each series, Hartman – who still enjoys acting but is quite selective about what she accepts these days – received a call from the costume designer. “She’d say: ‘I’ve been through the scripts and there are six scenes where you’ll be wearing corsets. Shall we have a leopard-skin version or a diamante?’ We’d meet and end up crying with laughter thinking of the most outrageous outfits possible.”

Helga was especially popular among fans in the Armed Forces, prisons and little girls. “It was a strange combination,” admits Hartman, who recalls two girls who wrote such touching letters she kept in touch.

“One lived in Australia and we continued writing for around 20 years. When I worked over there we met, which was lovely.”

The trio’s 40-year friendship is characterised by raucous laughter throughout the recordings, which go out every Tuesday. But they’re not afraid to be serious, too.

“We turn from contributors to the series into fans, viewing the show as outsiders looking in,” explains Gibson, grabbing another biscuit. “Among the sparky anecdotes and backstage stories, the chat often turns to other topics, including our parents’ experiences of the Second World War.”

Siner adds: “Subjects range from the endless pranks played by the actors, the process of making a studio comedy, wonderment at the scale of the special effects and David Croft’s genius as a director.”

During a two-day period each month, four podcast episodes are recorded, each focusing on a particular episode of the sitcom which attracted more than 17 million viewers and was sold to more foreign markets than previous exports.

“We have a marvellous time,” enthuses Siner. “After watching an episode of the sitcom, the recorder is switched on and off we go.

“We have biccies, the coffee is always flowing and Kim’s husband, actor John Nolan, passes through from time to time and makes rude comments. It’s all very anarchic and great fun.”

Gibson agrees, but notes: “We find ourselves massively overusing the word ‘wonderful’ so have started to impose fines and forfeits for using it – it doesn’t seem to be working, though.”

He explains that the choice to record around the table in Hartman’s Warwickshire home was a good one: “It was our intention to hire a studio but during an early meeting, we tested the recording equipment. Surprisingly, the acoustics were perfect so we opted for the kitchen table.

“It couldn’t have been a better choice because listeners have told us that if feels like they’re joining us in the room.”

In fact, they are now planning to film some episodes, allowing listeners the chance to see Kim’s kitchen for themselves. Once a recording is complete, the actors relax and chat over dinner which is usually accompanied by a bottle of gin, courtesy of Siner.

“We intend to work through the entire nine seasons of the sitcom – unless, of course, we get sick of each other before then,” jokes Gibson, who spends a week preparing each instalment for airing.

Siner and Gibson still receive their fair share of fan mail, too, including from children watching the sitcom for the first time.

“Letters come from all over the world, including China – I didn’t even know it was shown there,” admits Siner. Fans believe ’Allo, ’Allo! deserves another outing on mainstream TV and, in doing so, earn the actors well-deserved royalties. Is that likely, I wonder, or is the show’s subject matter regarded too emotive in today’s woke world?

“Let’s put it this way, I don’t think ’Allo ’Allo! would be commissioned today, even though it’s still appreciated and people understand it was made in the 1980s,” admits Siner. “But we weren’t poking fun at the Second World War or any nationality, we were sending up all those stiff-upper-lip films depicting the war.

“In all the years I played Gruber, the only letters I received regarding my character being German and gay were appreciative. I speak German so didn’t have anyone complaining about my accent – gay men thanked me for making the character so real.

“We’ve all been working hard over the years to dispel this myth that ’Allo ’Allo! is politically incorrect.

“In fact, we feel it’s quite the reverse – with each nationality being stereotyped as randy, stupid or corrupt equally,” adds Hartman, who believes there is just one fundamental reason why the sitcom wouldn’t be given the green light today.

“Sadly, the don’t have the facilities they had in the 1980s to record a weekly sitcom on such an epic scale.

“That’s a tragedy because the corporation used to be a training ground for, among others, directors, make-up artists and scenic designers.”

’Allo ’Allo!’s worldwide success brought recognition in more ways than one.

“I’ve been stopped in the street from New York to Sydney, even while wearing a suit and sunglasses!” laughs Siner, whose alter-ego travelled around in a tank. “The little tank we used on set, which survived the Battle of the Bulge, was driven by its owner, who kept well out of sight. Actually, the tank became better known than me,” jokes Siner.

“One chap sent me a letter explaining that he was having trouble with his neighbour parking a car outside his driveway, so could I bring my little tank over and move it!”

The TRIO rate ’Allo ’Allo! among the highlights of their careers. Gibson, whose most recent credits include An American In Austen for the Hallmark Channel, filmed many of his scenes with Hartman. “The relationship between the two characters became a well-mined strand of comedy in the show.”

The Ugandan-born actor was noticed by producer and co-writer David Croft at a wedding. “His daughter, Jane, had just got married and invited friends to a garden party which David and his wife attended.

“People were telling jokes involving German voices and I ended up doing the voice of a camp commandant. I noticed David and his wife conferring.

“They must have been suitably impressed – because days later I received a script for the pilot episode.”

From day one, it was apparent to Gibson that playing the character in a deadpan manner was the way forward. But there was another reason behind the decision. “Until I played Herr Flick, I’d never done comedy. I didn’t know how to do gags and was rather cautious about attempting them. So, I played it straight for that reason.

“Herr Flick was a gift and you only get one of those characters in a lifetime. But when the writing is of the quality of David Croft and Jeremy Lloyd’s, it’s very difficult getting it wrong.”

Top-notch scripts and fine acting combined to create one of the UK’s mostsuccessful sitcoms – and occasional repeats, plus the actors’ podcast, continue to appease the fans’ insatiable appetite for all things ’Allo, ’Allo!.

So, with myriad episodes still to be covered in the podcast, many more jovial days will be spent around Kim Hartman’s kitchen table. Plans are afoot to take the podcast out on the road, too.

“We’re thinking of visiting some of the locations, mostly in Norfolk, used for filming the sitcom,” says Gibson. “So, watch this space!”

The Listen Very Carefully podcast can be heard on, among others, Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Podbean. For more information, visitpodqp.podbean.com