Comedian has offered fans a grim insight into his recent health battle after being forced to cancel a handful of stand-up gigs in March 2024.
As part of his 25th Year Stand-Up Special on the , Michael recorded a performance of his last live show Macnificent, which sold out during its international run. And part of that show saw Michael address his surgery for which ended up being the “worst case scenario”.
Beginning the anecdote in front of a live audience, Michael explained: “The urologist said, ‘We can see what it is – you’ve got a kidney stone.’ I was like, ‘Oh my God, is that serious?’ He said, ‘It depends what happens from now. The best case scenario is that you pee it out.’ That’s the best case scenario, that you pee a stone out of your penis!
“Let me tell you, I did not achieve the best case scenario. He said, ‘Well I’m going to have to operate. I’m going to have to go in and pull it out. But the good news is you’ve got a naturally available hole for me to enter’.”
Michael joked he went through every hole in his body before realising the surgeon meant the urethra – and he’d have to enter through his genitals.
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Michael McIntyre was forced to cancel gigs due to health concerns (Image: BBC)
The surgeon told the comedian he performs the routine surgery “two or three times a day” – but that didn’t make it easier to recover from. He then explained: “He said, ‘Then I’ll put a stent on your kidney, and that will be in place for two days. That is going to stay there to help the flow of things for 48 hours, and there’s a string attached to the stent which will come out of the end of your penis and I’ll tape it around for two days’.”
He then had to return to the hospital to have the string pulled out – with Michael cringing: “I lived that! That’s my life! You are looking at me differently – I look at me differently! I’m not the same person any more.”
Michael spoke about his surgery on his new tour (Image: BBC)
As well as undergoing the gruelling operation, he was told to avoid sexual intercourse while he recovered – but joked his wife wouldn’t go near his “Gaffa-Taped penis”.
It comes after Michael was forced to cancel two of his stand-up shows in March – pulling out of dates at Southhampton and Plymouth in February and March last year.