Billie Lourd is feeling “griefful” on the eighth anniversary of mom Carrie Fisher’s death, the actor shared in a moving tribute.
On Dec. 27, Lourd, 32, took to Instagram to share a throwback photo of her and her mom, who died in 2016 at 60, days after going into cardiac arrest.
In the caption, Lourd talked about her experience with grief since losing her mother.
“It has been 8 years since my mom died. As my son would say ‘that’s a lot!’ I always dread this day,” she said. “I spend so much time leading up to it thinking about how awful I’m going to feel. And my dread is usually right.”
Lourd said felt “a dark cloud” over her on the morning of Dec. 27. Then her two children, Kingston Fisher, 4, and Jackson Joanne, 2, woke up.
“When my kids woke up the dark cloud dissipated and made way for bright glowing sunshine,” she said.
Lourd said she has learned to live through the hard times thanks to her children.
“My grief has given me a deeper appreciation for all the little moments of life,” she said. “So today I am griefful (griefy but grateful).
“I watch the magic that is my son and daughter and I know she is a piece of that magic,” she continued. “And I feel all the things. The grief. The joy. The longing. The magic. The emptiness. The fullness. And it all coexists in a profound way.”
The “Scream Queens” star also compared her grief to a quote by novelist Anne Lamott: “It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly — that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”
“And that describes how I feel today perfectly,” Lourd said.
