Clarkson Farm Kaleb Cooper’s Christmas ‘revenge’ as he blasts ‘absolute menace’

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Kaleb Cooper has shared his Christmas revenge plans (Image: Getty)

is well known for his dislike of sheep – but it’s a “menace” of a pig and a goose that almost castrated him that he’s looking to “retaliate” against when it comes to Christmas morning cooking.

The star, who can often be seen toiling away in front of the cameras at Diddly Squat or The Farmer’s Dog pub, revealed that he’d “never forgiven” one particular goose. “It’s the king of Christmas meats and [it] gets what’s coming to it,” he exclaimed, referring to the one who’d “attacked my, um, delicate parts and almost ended my family line”.

He cheekily continued: “They say revenge is best served cold, but anyone who’s tried potatoes roasted in goose fat can tell you the opposite is true!” Kaleb also confessed to struggling with a “complete menace” of a pig who was totally resistant to his instructions.

“It’s 250 pounds of bacon-flavoured attitude – and I’m not going to lie, when you push one of those off into the abattoir, it tastes even more amazing,” he quipped. However, animal lovers need not fear as Kaleb also insisted that he wants even the most “horrible” of cattle to be “well-treated”.

“No-one likes to kill an animal,” he vowed. That said, Kaleb “loves” Christmas and all the goodies that go with it – and as a result, has been known to serve up a totally “wingless” turkey.

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Kaleb Cooper on the red carpet

Kaleb Cooper is taking charge with the Christmas cooking (Image: Getty)

Family members are often bewildered when they discover the odd-looking bird, which Kaleb has been munching away on in place for breakfast on the big day.

“I don’t [need] breakfast because there’s so much food being prepared in the kitchen, I just pick at it,” he joked.

“People often wonder why the turkey’s got no wings on it. No use telling them it’s one of those flightless turkeys, either, because they just point out that turkeys can’t fly – so I try to change the subject instead.”

Ironically, ran out of turkey altogether at his pub less than two weeks before Christmas, despite it being the most eagerly anticipated item on his festive menu for many.

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The shortage took place on a day that both Jeremy and Kaleb had been there together downing pints and filming for their show – and of all days for the mishap to happen, it was Friday 13th.

Meanwhile, Kaleb recently shared what dessert he’ll be tucking into on Christmas Day – banoffee pie.

He quipped mischievously: “You’ve got to get some sort of healthy fibre into your meal, haven’t you?”

For a taste of Christmas Jeremy and Kaleb’s way, check out the festive menu at and for some foodie anecdotes from Kaleb, check out his book , chronicling “the highs, lows and unexpected adventures of life on a farm”.

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