Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
One time my preschooler said his feet hurt and I thought it was bc they grew but it turned out his boots were full of Mardi gras beads
— sarah (@sarahradz_) December 18, 2024
mind you … he just picked up our child … pic.twitter.com/DEXZq08LvM
— man man . (@whorezx) December 17, 2024
I never understood how the little drummer boy’s parents could just send him outside alone at night to play his drum until my daughter brought a recorder home from school.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 14, 2024
My 4yo: How tall was dad when he was 4?
Me: I dunno, I didn’t know him then.
4yo: You didn’t?
Me: No, we met as grownups.
4yo: So…you grew up, met dad, got married, had me and Winnie, and now we bother you all the time.
Me: Sums it up, yeah.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) December 16, 2024
Cat’s in the Cradle, Christmas version pic.twitter.com/ztZWZe2vyc
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 16, 2024
A fun thing about getting your Christmas shopping done early is how your kids tell you they don’t want that gift anymore.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) December 16, 2024
If you’re considering having kids just know that my daughter ate the lunch I had packed myself as her snack. It was in a lunch bag. My name was on it.
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) December 14, 2024
Food recalls are fun because now in addition to my usual anxieties I have to worry I fed my kids metal shard granola bars and poison melon cubes.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) December 14, 2024
Have you ever gone hiking through the mountains for several days? When you finally arrive at your campsite and you drop the 40lb sack you’ve been carrying on your back, you feel reborn. You feel free again. Anyways, both of my kids are staying with their grandparents this week.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) December 14, 2024
Schools be like there’s not enough shit at the end of the year can you also get your kid a white elephant gift for a class party tomorrow?
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) December 17, 2024
I hope this is the year Santa brings me a DNA testing kit so I can finally figure out which kid has been leaving all the glasses in the sink after I’ve cleaned the kitchen
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) December 17, 2024
*13yo complains about the quality of the Christmas movie we’re watching*
13yo: Well, it was made 30 years ago.
Me: 1994 was not 30 years ago. It was just…oh no.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) December 18, 2024
My kid came home from school yesterday and told me his class is supposed to dress up as Elvis for morning assembly. I told him I think he means elves. He disagreed. I can’t wait to hear how his day went when ‘The King’ returns home.
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) December 19, 2024
A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 16, 2024
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4 year old just slept walked into the baby’s room to wake him 🙃 Really? Out of all the things you could have done sleep walking, waking your brother was the highest priority?! 🤦🏼♀️
— Mandalynns23 (@mandalynns23) December 19, 2024
11: i wish things were like in the old days still
me: oh yea? What are the old days to you
11: like 2002
me: [Werther’s originals appear in my pants pockets]
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) December 17, 2024