You’re headed to a party or get-together and don’t want to arrive empty-handed. So you decide to pick up some flowers for the host on your way. But if you skip one crucial step, that lovely gift of yours might become a bit of an inconvenience.
In a recent episode of “The Liz Moody Podcast,” Moody made a PSA about an all-too-common host gift mistake: bringing flowers but not putting them in a vase or other vessel first.
“There’s truly nothing more annoying than somebody bringing you flowers and then you’re running around and you’re trying to figure out where to put them,” she said in the episode. “We have had flowers in our Vitamix before. I appreciate the flowers. I love the flowers. But just that one little extra touch, it takes it up so many levels.”
Etiquette expert Jodi RR Smith, president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting, agrees that putting the flowers in a vase beforehand is a thoughtful move. Arriving with florals still in their wrapping “creates an urgency for the host” and adds “unnecessary stress,” she told HuffPost.
“They must stop what they are doing — welcoming guests, providing introductions, putting finishing touches on the refreshments, etc. — to locate an available vase, cut the stems, arrange the flowers, add water, clean up the greenery, and find a place to put them.”
Otherwise, the flowers are left on a countertop somewhere to wilt as the host is tending to their guests and other tasks, she said.
Event planner Brooke Primm, founder of The Uncommon Hostess,also recommends arranging flowers in a vase before giving them to the host so it’s one less thing they have to worry about during the party.
Not only that, the vase can be a gift in and of itself — “a decorative piece in their collection, lasting long after the flowers have wilted,” Primm said.
If you’re on a budget, you need not spend a lot of money on the vessel. Moody is a fan of using a mason jar from around her house and tying a piece of twine around the mouth. Simple but looks “really cute,” she said in the episode.
When a vase isn’t an option, Primm recommends at least putting the flowers in craft paper rather than leaving them in plastic wrap.
“This adds a thoughtful touch and elevates the gift,” she said.
“That one little extra touch, it takes it up so many levels.”
– Liz Moody, podcast host
If gifting flowers isn’t really your thing, fear not. Our experts have plenty of other suggestions. Primm said she’s a fan of a more personalized host gift, as opposed to something more generic like flowers or wine.
“A thoughtful gift could be something like a potted herb that the host frequently uses in their cooking, or a high-quality bottle of olive oil — something that shows you know their tastes is always a good idea,” she said.
If you are going the flower or wine route, choose something you know the host really enjoys, Primm said, like “a bottle from a region they love” or “a flower you know is their favorite.”
Smith offered a few other ideas: gourmet chocolates, an assortment of baked goods, a hand-dipped candle, hand towels or a fancy soap or lotion, just to name a few.
“The better you know the host, the better you can choose the right option,” she said.
And, of course, you can always check in with the host ahead of time if there’s anything they need for the party instead — maybe they’ll ask you to bring a dessert or a bottle opener.
All of that said, a gracious host will appreciate whatever thank-you gift you decide to bring.
“Even a handwritten note expressing your gratitude can be incredibly meaningful,” Primm said. “Remember, there’s no need to spend a fortune or go overboard. Sometimes, a simple act of appreciation can go a long way.”