Sometimes they call it the “CEO test” or the “Supreme Court test,” but baby name consultantColleen Slagen says many expectant parents are looking for the same thing: “Ivy League names.”
“I think what they’re saying is they want a name that gives off an air of polish, that ages well, that would work in any environment,” Slagen, a mom of three, tells TODAY.com.
“Obviously, I don’t think that because you named your kid Onyx, they can’t be CEO,” Slagen explains. “Times have changed. Culture has changed, but I think that’s where the parents are coming from.”
Slagen thinks that what they’re really looking for is something timeless and classic that is also a bit unique.
“I think at their core, they are wanting success for their child, and they are perhaps hoping to manifest that through a name that evokes sophistication,” she says.
That said, Slagen created TikTok videos in which she playfully examines “Ivy League” names … and the personalities that she imagines may accompany them.
“Ivy League” boy names
This is Slagen’s list of Ivy League names, and her (joking) interpretation of them:
Twins Callaway and Fraser (Harvard): “They met their first venture capitalist when they were 11 and looking for investors in a computer software they had created.”
Whitaker (Yale): “He’s a legacy admission. He goes by Whitaker when he’s interviewing for summer internships at the Big Four but if you see him out at a party, you can just call him Whit.”
Brooks (Penn): “He was a tri-sport athlete in high school. When people ask him where he goes to college, he humbly replies, ‘In Philly.’ His best friends are Landon and Bennett.”
Bartholomew (Cornell): “He grew up in Brooklyn. He has never had to use a public school toilet, and his little brothers, Archibald and Cornelius, plan to follow suit.”
Cooper (Columbia): “I’m not going to say he got in because he’s good at baseball, but he is the starting pitcher.”
Richmond Beaumont Hawthorn III (Dartmouth): “Please, just call him Tripp. He’s actually pretty relatable. His parents only have one summer home, and he’s never even been to Martha’s Vineyard.”
Stetson (Princeton): He’s the product of a Texas oil tycoon. He does plan to return there to take over the family business, but in the meantime he’s just having a little fun.”
Forrest (Brown): “He identifies as an activist.”
“Ivy League” girl names
Palmer (Harvard): “Thanks to her photographic memory, she didn’t even have to bring her dad’s credit card with her.”
Vivienne (Yale): “She’s a classically trained cellist. Her idea of a wild night is playing Baz concertos past curfew. And please don’t spell her name the Latin way. Her great, great, great, great grandmother was French.”
Kingsley (Penn): “She saw the Eras Tour three times this summer with her sisters, Campbell and Chamberlain, and has the paraphernalia to prove it. Her nannies moved her in today. She’s really going to miss them.”
Sinclair (Cornell): “She didn’t get into Princeton but Cornell was her first choice, OK?”
Kensington (Columbia): “She’s on a first-name basis with all of her professors, but when she runs into girls from her hall who she’s met five times, she says, ‘Remind me your name again?'”
Wellesley (Dartmouth): “Her passion is public education but she will definitely be sending her future children to private school when they turn 2.”
McKinley (Princeton): “Her dorm room is covered in pictures of female Fortune 500 CEOs. She had professional headshots done for her Linkedin profile when she was a freshman … in high school. If you’re wondering if her name was inspired by U.S. history, her siblings are Lincoln, Kennedy, Monroe and Harrison.”
Georgina (Brown): “She’s circulating a petition for the dining halls to go fully vegan, but her trust fund is bigger than her carbon footprint.”
Looking for a quick way to create “Ivy League” vibes for your baby? Try using a surname as a first name.
