It is estimated that approximately 83 per cent of Canadian women have their ears pierced. The number of men with pierced ears is anybody’s guess.
Christmas is coming.
You’re going to need a family-friendly joke for the dinner table.
So this is the opener:
What does a pirate pay for his earrings?
Read on. I’ll supply the punchline at the end of this column. And yes, we’re going to be talking about earrings today.
It is estimated that approximately 83 per cent of Canadian women have their ears pierced. The number of men with pierced ears is anybody’s guess. Until relatively recently, ear piercing was generally limited to one piercing per ear. That number started to creep upwards as the last century drew to a close. The reasons why are manifold. Today, it’s not uncommon to see a smattering of earrings on a single ear.
The tradition of piercing the lobe of the ear is ancient and conjectural. Its origin is likely linked to cultural practices designed to signify a rite of passage or social status. The 5,300-year-old mummified remains of Otzi The Iceman, found in an Italian glacier in 1991, was discovered to have had a pierced ear. Earrings were also found in graves dating back to 2500 BCE. Even the Bible mentions earrings. In Genesis, Jacob buries household members’ earrings along with their idols. In Exodus, Aaron makes the golden calf from melted jewelry, including earrings. The Bible also mentions earrings as an indication of slavery. Here, in the Pacific Northwest, the Tlingit people pierced their offspring’s ears to show status within the community. The earrings had to be purchased at considerable expense at a potlatch. Today, people seem to get piercings for self-expression, often to show either conformity to their culture or to rebel against it.
Historically, ear-piercing was thought to have the ability to offer a range of social, health and spiritual benefits. In Hinduism, the practice of Karnvedh Sanskar was thought to convey emotional balance on the life of a young female. In Latin American cultures, it’s customary to pierce the ears of newly born baby girls simply for esthetics. Lore has it that sailors famously sport an earring or two. The reasoning behind this practice is as diffuse and divergent as sea travel itself. They range from a sailor wearing an earring so that, if his body washed ashore, the funds from selling his earrings could be used to pay for a Christian burial. That same earring could also be used to identify his body as the practice was to engrave the name of his home port on the earring. Other lore states that seamen marked their first trip around the Horn of Africa or over the Equator by having their ear pierced. This was also the way of indicating to other sailors that you were a seasoned hand. Other legends have it that each piercing a sailor sports was indicative of how many vessels he’d been on that had sunk.
As the centuries chugged along, ear piercings for women seems to have fallen out of favour in the western world. Men, however, kept the practice alive. In the Elizabethan era in England, Shakespeare, King Charles I, and Sir Walter Raleigh were all said to sport a single earring. The female fashion of wearing earrings would eventually be revived following the First World War by the invention of the clip-on earring, and by the 1960s, evolve back to the practice of piercing the lobe again. Ear-piercing quickly became again a painful rite of passage.
So, here’s the punchline to the joke.
Yes, it’s a groaner, but isn’t that just perfect for the occasion?
So, what does a pirate pay for his earrings?
A pirate pays a buccaneer!
This week’s question for readers:
Question: Do you have pierced ears? Anything else? When did you get pierced?
Last week’s question for readers:
Question: Sailing, chopping wood, volunteer work? How do you hit the reset button?
• Mom used to take out her frustrations by cleaning drawers, so she’d have something positive and tangible when she was finished. The madder she was, the more reorganizing and cleaning got done. If the whole place was spotless and tidy, watch out. She might still be in a snit, so “Don’t poke the bear”.
Lorna (Krahulec) Blake
• Whenever I feel the need to hit the reset button, I go for a walk outside. Rain or shine, whether in my neighbourhood or a forest, walking always improves my state of mind and body. Spring brings lovely perennial flowers, summer brings the sun’s warmth and floral aromas, fall brings colourful leaves, rain and Halloween decorations, and winter brings the cold and wind and wonderful Christmas light displays. The variety of the seasons keeps it interesting. Exchanging smiles or greetings with a familiar face provides a human element to the experience. Walking provides me with the calm I need to cope with daily life — and if that isn’t enough, there’s always chocolate.
Paula Alvaro
• Walks, preferably with fabulous views, are great for reviving the soul, but my favourite “reset” is baking and sharing the results. Finding the right recipe, measuring, mixing, kneading and getting it out of the oven at the perfect time, then decorating, topping or simply arranging in a container for presentation … all satisfying and soothing — and well-received by my family, friends and neighbours. Guaranteed smiles.
Julie
• Your advice for hitting the reset button was spot on. Snacking, sleeping, showering and going outside — all excellent remedies.
I can only add to that … putting on your favourite music and dancing up a storm, even by yourself, while singing loudly. Also watching a rerun of your favourite comedy or laughing with a friend. All energy boosters.
Enjoy a stress-free holiday season.
Lois Kathnelson
• Yes, at this time of year people can get depressed. Minimal sunlight, cold weather, Christmas coming. The situation reminds me of COVID four years ago. How to deal with dark times? Your suggestions in your column are worth their weight in gold (or snow).
When COVID first hit in 2020, I placed a post on Craigslist looking for a graphic artist. I wrote a short ebook The Art Of Walking, showing people how they could deal with COVID and any negative emotions, and I wanted to share with people how they could not only deal with COVID, but be happy and learn new things. How to learn how to look, identify trees and flowers, ascertain Victorian versus Edwardian houses, see where birds built their nests in trees, and so on. Never mind COVID. Life goes on.
One graphic artist replied and said she would design the book just to read the text and learn how to deal with her own depression. When the ebook was complete, she said it saved her life.
Michael McCarthy
• I have a particular coffee shop I go to. I take a newspaper or a book and I sit and read for hours. During that time, I chat with various people, and somehow, I am restored.
Daniel Simpson