The holiday season is upon us, and you know what that means: The thirst is real for single people.
In homage to arguably the most horny time of the year, we rounded up 22 tweets about hometown hookups (happens all the time), dating apps during the holidays (frightening), and texting your ex on Christmas Day (don’t do it).
going home for the holidays is special because it’s really the only time you can swipe through tinder and say stuff like “hm I thought he was in jail for manslaughter”
— Christina Casillo (@chrisrosecas) December 24, 2019
officially done with dating apps. i want to meet someone the old-fashioned way: i develop amnesia around christmas & fall in love with the small-town hunk who shows me that the holidays still have meaning, even when my brains are scrambled
— Meg (@megannn_lynne) December 12, 2023
the entire point of friendsgiving is to give your sad, lonely, single, miserable friends one last chance to find love before the holidays
— nika (@firstDILF) November 18, 2024
gay tinder in your hometown during the holidays is just like…the saddest pride parade ever
— Billy Recce (@BillyRecce) November 21, 2018
Merry Christmas to all of the men on dating apps switching their opener from “How was your weekend?” to “Merry Christmas! How was your weekend?” Your subtle holiday remix is a lesson in creativity.
— Jared Freid (@jtrain56) December 25, 2019
One of my dating apps randomly reset from the beginning and it’s like A Christmas Carol but the specters that haunt me are the dude who asked me to defecate on him, the dude who got a nosebleed and cried, and 47 emotionally unavailable finance bros.
— Melissa Turkington (@Leftovers_Movie) November 21, 2024
Ur approaching ur 30s talking about cuffing szn brother go start a family
— Pastor Kyle. (@itsqail) September 7, 2022
My ex texted me merry Christmas, instantly regretted it, and blocked my number tonight. Everyone say “good for you king for knowing your worth!”
— Zo Vibes (@zothoughtwhat) December 26, 2021
Cuffing season is upon us. Time to put my freezing appendages on someone’s son for warmth.
— F O I E (@foie) October 9, 2022
They need to extend the hardship exemptions from sports to the dating world. For example, if you’re alone during the holidays, you should be allowed to bring back an ex who is also single.
— Zito (@_Zeets) December 25, 2021
Opening tinder at your parents’ house in the suburbs over holidays pic.twitter.com/WE9nTfelQz
— Evan Thomas (@EvanDerekThomas) April 21, 2019
a petition to refer to cuffing season as spooky crush time because nothing strikes fear into my heart like emotional investment!!
— morgan sung (@morgan_sung) October 10, 2019
this guy’s tinder bio says “looking for a wife for holidays” like sir do i look like a seasonal employee????
— rose (@roseelouise) October 24, 2020
fun tip for being home during the holidays: if u see ur ex on a dating app, gaslight them into believing you’ve never met
— brinjamin (@brinthehuman) December 21, 2020
being single during the holidays feels like — pic.twitter.com/nt5WhB3MC4
— 𝔇𝔢𝔪𝔦🍒 (@st0ned_rose) November 19, 2023
Messaging some guy on tinder and he said he was going home for Christmas. So I asked where’s home, but it autocorrected to “where’s hole at?”
— Charity Churchmouse (@loosh_in) December 12, 2019
Can someone arrest me so I can get cuffed during cuffing season
— Valentina Cy (@itsValentinaCy) November 29, 2022
Girl on a dating app was talking about how she was hoping she feels better by Thursday and I asked what’s going on Thursday and she said Thanksgiving and now I feel like Scrooge at the end of A Christmas Carol
— Senator Johnny Boy (@THEnotoriousJ0D) November 24, 2024
I did not just witness my brother message a girl on tinder “warm up the oven I’m coming in raw” holidays are cancelled I’m calling my mother or the police idk I’m traumatized help
— Holly (@hollybarnett_) November 28, 2019
heading home for the holidays! can’t wait to re-download a dating app due to ~cuffing season feels~ and then immediately delete it when i see the first elementary school acquaintance pictured w/ one of the trifecta: a weapon, fedora, or baby
— rachael burke (@thatsso_rachael) November 26, 2019
Dating apps during the holidays are like unlocking a 10th circle of hell. Someone just asked me if I had SNAPCHAT
— Cal (@Youlabesorry) December 24, 2023
going on the dating apps in your hometown over the holidays is great because you get to find out that your eighth grade history teacher is a christian bottom
— concealed carrie bradshaw (@jizzmartini) November 24, 2021