28 Funny Tweets About What Kids Say They’re Going To Be When They Grow Up

I empower my child to be whatever & whoever she wants. Right now,she wants to be an astronaut when she grows up. When I tell her what she needs to do in order to become an astronaut, I start with the basics. Step 1: LEARN TO PEE & POOP ON THE POTTY. MOMMY IS TIRED OF CHANGING YOU

— Marissa 💚🦃💛 (@michimama75) November 3, 2019

My daughter told me that she thinks it’d be more fun to have a puppy than a boyfriend when she grows up and she’s not wrong

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) September 21, 2023

My 6-year-old said when she grows up she wants to be a “chainsaw guy.”

Not sure if she means a professional tree trimmer like the ones working across the street or a serial killer in a hockey mask, but girls can do it all.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 9, 2022

3yo used to say he wanted to be a “please officer” when he grows up, thanks to a cop-obsessed Big Kid™️ on our street. but then we started doing enough ice cream dates that just now, when an elder asked him what he’s going to be he closed his eyes and whispered: “a Dairy Queen”

— hannahmatthews on 🦋 blsky (@hannahmsays) July 17, 2024

Asked my son what he wanted to be when he grew up

With clear eyed conviction, he said

SENIOR MANAGEMENT

— Aditi Parekh (@aditipar) November 22, 2024

8YO: When I grow up I don’t ever want to be a teacher

Me: why?

8YO: I can’t deal with so many parents talking

— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) May 9, 2023

Kid: When I grow up, my bff and I aren’t having kids and then we can go out any time and do adult things.

Me: Umm, what do you mean by doing “adult things”?

Kid: Go to pubs.

Whew.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) October 12, 2024

5 & 7 listening to one of my calls this morning.

5: Mom, what’s heavy monster bleeding?

I explain menstruation.

5: I want to be a boy when I grow up.

— Shematologist, MD (@acweyand) January 26, 2022

New spider man movie so good deuce told me
“ daddy I think I changed my mind I might want to be spider man when I grow up… but I still want to be you”

Good save son, good save!

— Jayson Tatum (@jaytatum0) June 8, 2023

5yo; “Mommy, I think when I grow up, I might change my name to a grownup name because my name is a little kid’s name. Maybe I’ll use my middle name. My name is such a baby name! I want a grown up name when I’m a grown up.”

Reader, his name is HARVEY.

— Stephanie Insley Hershinow (@S_Insley_H) May 3, 2023

My toddler said she wants to be a firefighter (noble choice) when she grows up because she “really loves fire” (uh oh).

— The Dad (@thedad) May 5, 2023

I asked my daughter what she wants to be when she grows up. She got super serious and replied, “Oh that’s easy. I’m going to be the Queen.” Mood. Goals. AF.

— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) August 5, 2019

I forgot to tell ya I asked my son last night what he wanted to be when he grows up he said “mom I want to be an avenger “ I told him avengers aren’t real it’s a costume….he said “oh like when you put your wig on like a Halloween costume…” I just …

— U. (@uniqueblessed) March 22, 2021

I just asked my 3 year-old if she’s gonna be a comedian or lawyer when she grows up because she already got a smart mouth. And she responds, “No I want to be a President.” Holy shit 😭😭😭😭😭😭

— Meena Harris (@meena) September 6, 2019

me: how was gymnastics dude?

9: fine but there’s an annoying kid. Even the coach can’t stand him. I wanna punch him but I know if I do I’ll be banned

me: correct

9: well when we grow up into adults I’m gonna find him and punch him really hard.

and there is his villain…

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 11, 2024

3yo: Mommy, I want to be the Big, Bad Wolf when I grow up.

Me: Um….ok…..

— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) October 13, 2022

Asked a preschooler at my niece’s birthday party, “What are you gonna be when you grow up?” And she looked me and said, “A grown-up.”

— Caitlin 🚗 🧀 Driscoll (@TeacherOnTopic) October 12, 2024

When I grow up and get a baby I’m gonna be nice to it

– My 5-year-old

— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) June 10, 2022

My 5yo: WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO BE A SINGER AND A DANCER AND A MUSICIAN AND A VETERINARIAN AND A PASTOR AND A TEACHER
Me: Wow! You’d be so good at—
5: I WASN’T DONE

— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) June 3, 2024

Pilot (to my 5-year-old daughter a few days ago): Do you know you could be a flight attendant when you grow up?

5: I could also own the plane.

— Rebecca Papin (@RebeccaPapin) April 13, 2022

me: what are you going to be when you grow up?

5: beautiful.

— Dan (@dadopotamus) July 6, 2023

Me: you can be anything you want!

4: Mommy. When I grow up, first I’m gonna be a mermaid, then I’m gonna be a pilot, then I’m gonna be a pony, then I’m gonna be a mom and then I’m gonna be a unicorn.

— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) November 18, 2021

“When I grow up, I want to be a wolfer. Someone who feeds pizza to wolves.” -4, preparing for one hell of a future

— Marissa 💚🦃💛 (@michimama75) January 28, 2021

[3yo talking to me about what doctors do]

Me: Is that what you want to be when you grow up? A doctor?

3yo: *thinks for a minute* No, mommy, I’m just going to be a human being.

— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) January 10, 2020

My daughter told me she wants to be a doctor when she grows up so she can take care of me when I’m an old lady

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) August 19, 2023

3yo says when she grows up she wants to be a scientist and a unicorn. To be fair, unicorn transformation is a very specific science.

— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) September 17, 2020

8-year-old: I want to be like you when I grow up.

Me: You want to write books?

8: I want to be tall and nap a lot.

Dream big.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 24, 2023

Me: What are you going to be when you grow up?

6yo patient: Bigger.

— Shematologist, MD (@acweyand) October 14, 2021