James faced the hardest decision of his life after his mum’s diagnosis (Image: Jonathan Buckmaster)
A former police officer says he made the hardest decision of his life not to be by his mum’s side when she died at Dignitas as it would put his career in jeopardy.
James Johnson, 34, saw his personal and professional lives collide five years ago when his mother was diagnosed with vasculitis.
The incurable condition attacks healthy blood vessels, causing damage to vital organs. James said: “An unsurvivable disease was killing her, with waves of flare-ups getting progressively worse.
“Mum knew the demise she was facing. She received excellent palliative care but some of the symptoms from the palliative care medicines were completely intolerable. Some caused a tremor so bad that she couldn’t hold a cup of tea still enough to drink from it.
“None of them touched the pain she was in, nor afforded her the dignity and quality of life that she wanted.”
Don’t miss…
James shared his experience at a meeting in Parliament last week where MPs also heard from a panel of top legal experts who are backing the Bill, including former Director of Public Prosecutions Max Hill KC and Alex Goodman KC.
His voice breaking, he described his mum as “one of life’s angels. A nurse of 40 years’ service to the NHS, she worked long hours, often on night shifts but with an ever-present smile on her face.”
James was not shocked when she revealed she planned to travel to Dignitas, but he faced a “moral impasse”.
He said: “I wanted to hold her hand and comfort her, lend her my arm to ease the pain of walking. But I had taken other people’s liberty away when they were suspected of breaking the law.
“I’ve made more life and death decisions professionally than I can count. I’ve even made ready my firearm in preparation for using lethal force. But this was by far the most difficult decision I’ve ever had to come to.”
James was willing to risk his career but his mum did not want that, and in the end, he decided to respect her wishes and remain at home.
“She left on her own after a tear-filled goodbye,” he recalled. “She walked down the road towards the train station and just before she was out of sight, she turned around, put her fist in the air, and with an exaggerated skip down the road, she told us all that it all going to be OK and that she was finally on her way to being relieved of her pain.
Don’t miss…
“On the morning she had her assisted death at Dignitas, she texted me to say: ‘I woke up this morning and my first thought was: Great, no more illness. Thank you for everything and I will always be with you.’”
The trip cost £12,000 and James’ final months with his mum were marred by worry that her plan could be derailed.
The former officer and control room manager of 10 years’ service told MPs the current law “protects no one” and ignores the fact that up to 650 terminally ill people are estimated to take their own lives every year.
Warning of the “cost to inaction”, James added: “This is about control over a dying process that is happening anyway, it is not about suicide.
“What you are not changing, you are choosing. In honour of my mum’s incredible fortitude, I urge MPs to consider people like my mum when they think about how they might debate and vote on this Bill.”
Changing the law would provide “clarity and process instead of the chaos of the status quo”, James said.
“This is about dying people. If you’re lucky enough to not be terminally ill, please put yourselves in the shoes of someone like my mum.”