Anyway, Redditor u/UnawareMother recently asked, “What’s the biggest hint you’ve ever missed from a woman?” And the comments — largely from men — were full of hilarious yet cringe stories of having absolutely ZERO idea that someone was interested in them. Here are some of the best ones:
1. “Went on a short road trip with a girl from work. When booking hotels for the stay, she said, ‘Let’s book a single room with separate beds; it’ll save us money.’ I thought that was a good idea and went ahead.
That evening when we went to bed, I was showing her a YouTube video on my phone and she went, ‘Make yourself comfy! Why are you sitting on the edge of the bed?’ and raised the comforter, indicating that I ought to slide in next to her in her bed (which I did).
When we were chit-chatting, I reached out for a bottle of water that was on a table across from her and accidentally brushed her bra strap with my elbow. I apologized and took a gulp of water. She asked ‘Is my bra in the way?’ I said, ‘Nah, I managed to get the bottle, don’t worry about it!’
One day after the road trip ended, it hit me.
And yes, I know I’m an absolute dumbass.”
2. “In high school, I caught a wickedly beautiful classmate sitting at my desk. When she looked up and saw me, she turned bright red and looked extremely embarrassed. Hours later, I realized that someone had written a love note directly on the cover of my notebook… And all I thought was, Huh, that’s weird.
To this day, I think of how stupid I was at 16.”
‘Yeah, me too.'”
—u/boparoy485
4. “I was Snapchatting a girl from my high school when there was a pause in her response, then she sent me a post-shower selfie with her arm just barely covering her breasts with the caption ‘come play zombies’ (she had mentioned playing [Call of Duty] zombies earlier in the convo) and my dumbass goes:
‘Do you have Xbox Live?’
‘No’
‘Then how will we play?’
‘Idk’
Her shirt was back on after that.
It’s been 10 years and I’m still kicking myself.”
5. “When I worked at an electronics store, a girl asked me for game recommendations, for the Switch in general and specifically multiplayer games. I showed her the best off of the console, she picked out a single-player game that she liked and we talked about it for a while. She then asked me if I live around here. I said yes. She asked if I’d like to play together sometime… I said well that’s not really a multiplayer game. Then another customer had a question so the conversation broke off. The girl quickly left but did not buy the game. I’m still thinking about this interaction every now and then.”
—u/Xello_99
—u/boparoy485
7. “I had a girl in university ask if I was single. When I said yes, she asked if I wanted or was looking for a girlfriend and I said yeah I suppose so, and she came back with, ‘Yeah, being single is tough, would be nice to just have someone to go on dates with.’ I, in all my glory and skills with the ladies, came back with ‘yup, sure would be!’ And walked into class before her.”
—u/mfkterrenc
8. “In class, a girl asked if we could study together for a minor quiz at her place.
A friend overhears and asks if he can join us, I say yes immediately before she can say anything.
She sends us her address and a time. I show up and she answers the door in a bikini. Nobody else at her place. She says she was sunbathing and asks me into her room while she changes. I look away to be polite and then make small talk once she’s done.
My friend shows up 30 minutes later, turns out she told him that the study group started 30 minutes after what she told me.
Sigh…”
—u/mapom66490
9. “A lifetime ago in high school, the extremely cute exchange student from Spain sort of cornered me and started asking questions about an upcoming school dance. What is it like? Is it fun? Are you going with anyone?
Ynez, if you’re out there, I’m sorry. I’m a dope.”
—u/bepiti5170
Her: *applying strawberry lip gloss*
Me: Why are you putting on lip gloss?
Her: Strawberry lip gloss tastes so nice.
Me: Haha, you’re weird.
Her: Want to taste?
Me: Nah, I already know what it tastes like.
Commence several years of late-night self-loathing and regret.”
—u/jamoce4269
11. “This was back in high school. I was super shy. I had been crushing hard on this girl since freshman year and everybody knew it. She had thrown hints at me forever and I never acted. I was insanely good at math.
So one day as I’m coming out of class she stops me and says that she heard that I’m some kind of math genius and asked me to tutor her. I asked her what she’s going to pay me. She says very suggestively, ‘Oh don’t worry, you’ll be well rewarded.’
My stupid ass responds, ‘No I need actual numbers to know if it’s worth my time,’ smh. I was so dumb lol.”
—u/threat024
12. “I have very flexible joints. As a result, I was well known for doing tricks with my hands during my early uni days. Things like bending my fingers backwards to touch the back of my hand, touching my arm with my thumb, bending fingers into a Z shape, etc.
I was at a party with classmates and this girl I vaguely knew asked me for a private demonstration of my hands. I was slightly buzzed at the time so I said sure and took her to the kitchen while she giggled. I started doing my usual tricks but I quickly noticed something was wrong because she got this disappointed look on her face. She mumbled something akin to ‘OK cool’ and left the party claiming she was tired, leaving me confused for the rest of the night.
It took me three days of sobering up before I realized I had fucked up and by the time I saw her again it was too awkward to talk about.”
—u/Ralath1n
“This is funnier if she never heard about the tricks and only knew you by your reputation for magical fingers.”
13. “Drove every week from Pennsylvania to Chicago to see a girl I had a crush on. Still lived with her parents, so I never stayed the night.
She always was flirty, but ‘then-me’ was oblivious. When I stayed later than usual one night, and I yawned, she said, ‘You should just stay the night and we can get a hotel room.’
I said, ‘Nah, I’m good to drive, I’ll make it.’ She said, ‘No, don’t be silly. We can hang out tonight.’
I was in the middle of Ohio when I realized what she meant.”
—u/mapom66490
14. “Hanging out with a coworker at her apartment, each 19–20ish. Sitting on the couch side by side, she complained that her large breasts were a pain to deal with because of their size, followed by ‘…Do you want to touch them?’
I sort of half-juggled them (as though I was comparing the weight involved) and said, ‘Hmm, nice.’
Not the only signal I missed that night, but probably my defining moment of obvious failure.”
—u/mapom66490
I’m a practical man.”
—u/hixika8431
16. “My first weekend of college a girl asked me if I wanted to wrestle her in my dorm.
I wrestled her in my dorm. Nothing more.”
—u/Jdw5186
“Did you at least win?”
—u/truthm0de
“I did. She let me pin her down. She was on her back and I was sitting on top of her holding her arms down behind her head… then just… stood up.”
—u/Jdw5186
17. “While in high school I was at a gig with a bunch of people from my year and had been standing next to this girl the whole night chatting.
Another guy asked us if we were together and she replied ‘not yet’ and I laughed and replied ‘good one’ while she looked at me weirdly.
I had such a crush on her as well.”
—u/McClernon
18. “In high school I asked a girl to come watch a movie rental with me and some friends. She was sitting on the floor in front of me, and rubbed her neck saying that her neck/shoulders were sore. Completely missing the cue to offer a back massage, I got up and offered her a Tylenol. My buddies ribbed me for that for a long time. Somehow with my terrible game I still managed to marry her and we have three kids now.”
—u/twilling8